One thing...

"I would like to publicly announce that contrary to common belief, I neither sniff glue or eat cheese before I go to bed. But imagine what the dreams would be like if I did!"

A little press release from moi to point out that my weird dreams are not induced but rather, inherited. My mother also, is a dreamer and I would like to describe one very peculiar dream she had a few years ago that has never failed to amuse me. I shall write as if she is explaining it to you (the grammar is too tricky to get right and I don't want to be hunted by the Grammar Nazi's, even though they are already after me).

One Evening, my friends, Iain and Aileen came round for the evening for a bottle of wine and a chat. However, they brought their horse with them. So I managed to get it down the stairs into the lounge and then into kitchen. I didn't know where to put it so I decided to put it into the lift in my kitchen and send it downstairs to the basement. However, my kitchen caught on fire, so I was running about mad trying to save this horse...

I think you'll agree, that is pretty weird.

I'm sorry to say, I'm using you...

Nowadays, I seem to only use my blog in order to recount the weird dreams I have. Therefore, in the true spirit, I shall recount last night's dream.

I was on my way to a gig and we started queueing up in a library. I got my ticket scanned by a librarian (funnily enough) and I enter into this castle area. I'm suddenly all dressed up in a blue prom dress, attending the wedding of Katy Perry and... Ron Perlman (who played Hellboy in, wait for it, 'Hellboy') which confused me because Ron Perlman is not handsome. They were taking their first dance and I was kinda on the dancefloor with them (tit). Then, I walk outside the wedding reception and Ellyn grabs me and drags me down these old, stone steps, which can only hold the weight of two people and then this group from downstairs start to climb them so I was screaming abuse etc.

Then I realise I'm on holiday caravaning with Ellyn, Jill, Devon, Owen and David and I got to the campsite shops where there is a McDonalds and a bar (posh eh?). Then Gavin Nicol requires help in McDonalds to carry coke bottles to his brother who works in the bar and I gladly oblige, by holding them in my mouth.

...

One weird dream...

That's right, you guessed it, another weird dream,,,

First Part - We were in a war of some kind. My family and me were quite important to the cause and I think Jamie Oo was my brother. We made it to a camp site and got a bed for the night before we all had to go out and fight. In one car, there was John Barrowman (who worked in Sainsbury's and who I was going to invite for a night out) and David Tennant and on the other, there was an Allan. Guess who's car I got into? Jamie got on the same one and it was like a television programme. There was a girl on our car who looked a lot like Josie Jump from Balamory who you just knew was going to die and I proceeded to tell Allan that and he agreed.

Second Part - We are transported to a coach travelling along the Hamilton Expressway (exotic). I have my laptop in just buzzing around when the guy asks for my ticket which I have to fumble around for and I drop my laptop. Not happy. John Barrowman is on the bus though! (Also whilst I was on the bus, Susan from Desperate Housewives murdered Paul Young).

Third Part - It feels like I'm on a TV Show, In my dream, I likened it to Jeremy Kyle, but it was more Big Brother. Anyway I'm babysitting and this guy threatens me and stuff so the lead singer of Metallica (I asked for Steve Jobs to come on the show) came and rescued me and the two kids I was looking after from a fire in the kitchen. (I also asked him if he was playing T in the Park and he said 'He didn't know'.

Fourth (and the most hilarious part) - I hope you read this Kristy! I was at Kristy's eighteenth when I decided to dye my hair blue. It wasn't working out very well so Kristy helped me and it looked great until it went on frizzy and stuff. I don't really know how it happened but we started arguing about blue wigs and stuff and we were talking about how expensive things were and I won with the blue wig, mask combo that cost £160. We then made up. We also went back in time, but that's clearly not the exciting part...

Also...

I have noticed that my front door is becoming a redundant point of entry in my house. This is usually because I can never get my hands on a set of keys within a suitable time period (after making someone wait at a door for two minutes, it gets really awkward).

So, the next time you come round, would you mind entering through the kitchen window? I've had other 'deliveries' through there!

Parcels...

A Pizza Hut Delivery...

And a Hanna, Boy, that was an experience...

Weird Dream #123

Okay, don't know much background but the Zombie Apocalypse has happened.

So I'm the only survivor and I'm getting attacked regularly but I'm surviving. The zombies are actually quite intelligent and can talk, so I talk to one whilst he is eating someone's head (nom). He expresses an interest in the Wizard of Oz so I chuck the book of it at his feet and run. I then find a computer where Facebook works (y'kn ow, I'm not surprised, I'm that addicted this would probably happen) and find that two of my friends are still online. I manage to make contact and then my dream whisked away to a survivors camp, that seemed to be in...McDonalds. So there I was waiting for my vegetarian meal and the tills are taking such a long time that the guy flips out and I'm left waiting there for my grub. As the survivors, we have released a single condemning the zombies and the single cover looked like an orange background with a purple outline of a soldier on it. The zombies, however had released their own single, with the exact same cover except the soldier was a little more 'zombified'. Then me and a group of friends went outside and called on a taxi to take us somewhere as you can never walk outside alone, hinting that we were getting on with our lives in co-existence with the Zombies. Hmmmm...

London calling to the faraway towns, Now war is declared and battles come down...

To get a better idea of what I'm talking about, please read this:

http://krona.tumblr.com/post/2169603885 (Thanks Kristy)

It is a long account of the student protest on Thursday 9th December in response to the rise in student tuition fees in England and to be perfectly honest, one of the most horrific tales of brutality I have ever read, RIGHT HERE, in the democracy of the UK. I have always been interested in protests, peaceful ones at that and I had the opportunity to go to one in November but due to work commitments, I turned it down. Part of me always regretted that decision but I am a bit of a coward and now, all I can think is Thank God I never went and experienced my faith in some things being smashed, namely, the police. I'm not condemning all police officers but more riot police, officers who have been specially trained to disintegrate crowds not only through violence but also through diplomacy and reasoning. But in all honesty, the way they conducted themselves yesterday is nothing short of disgusting and all of them should be ashamed of themselves for not conducting themselves in a respectable manner. Even now, there are reports of a student with brain damage, it's just totally and fundamentally wrong. The way they acted is the totally wrong way to go around these things as people are even more angry now, I know I certainly am, and although I will probably never become involved with these matters physically (because I am a coward), I will voice my opinion loud. To all those who read that blog and become a Political Activist overnight, I applaud you, you have done something I could never do.

Obviously borrowed from a facebook group, but still, original!

It scares me, that this whole police brutality has reminded me of the film 'V for Vendetta', a film whose government is populated by corrupt, power-hungry people, who terrify the general public into conformity. I'm extremely worried for this country and it's people. 'Sigh'...

Where's our very own V when you need him?

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"

Woah. It's been a while since I properly blogged. I should feel ashamed (Hangs head in accordance to said shame).

It has been so long that even Devon has stop 'reminding' (I say reminding to be polite, I mean pestering) to write a blog so I can entertain the masses (The masses containing all but about six of you) with my apparent banter and wit. Indeed, she may have given up hope of seeing another blog, but have no fear, I am back, with a vengeance!

There really is no point in going into detail about the days that I didn't blog about as nothing genuinely exciting has happened in the last few weeks, except university assignments, occasional trips to the centre and Mark's party, which was quite excellent! So I shall start again, from today...

Erm, that Cider is not mine..

December really is only, in all honesty, a word to describe another word, which has a far more exciting meaning than a month. That word would be, yes you guessed it ...

SNOW!

(For those who thought Christmas, I will get to that later).

One thing about Snow and me, is that we don't get on. Maybe it's because of my poor snowman-manufacturing abilities or simply because it's wet, anyway, I have always and will always hate snow. Yes, It's nice to look at but the whole country comes to a standstill when it happens and although it's fun being snowed in for the first few days, eventually the novelty wears very thin. But I woke up this morning to find out it had been quickly thawing overnight, so I was extremely happy!

Now, for Christmas! I love Christmas. Always have, always will! I am honestly, the biggest kid ever when it comes to Christmas, as I am ashamed to admit that I still do not sleep on Christmas Eve due to the sheer excitement. (How many times can you get the word 'Christmas into a paragraph? Including that mention, five, apparently...)

So, in order to get into the spirit of 'Noel', the siblings and myself decorated the Peters' Christmas tree after its 'Erection' last night (that was a personal shout out to you, Fraser!). It took little over twenty minutes and I put the traditional golden leaf on, which I have done for years (It belonged to my great gran you see) and Katie put the angel on top (In all honesty, I would prefer a star but oh well). Obviously, we managed to catch some of our banter on camera, including Millie, dressed up in her Santa suit, a suit we find endearing and a suit she finds incredibly annoying! After that, I made toasties for lunch, which was enjoyed by myself and Katie and then my mum came home from her work lunch, proclaiming she was a bit 'tipsy'. I then proceeded to grab my new DVD which came in the post (Finally, thanks Royal Mail) and watched that, in the comfort of my own bed.

I'm even friends with inanimate objects, SCORE!

All in all, it has been a good wee day! Hopefully this blog with keep you satisfied for now, avid readers!