Erm, a blog beginning with the letter 'E' because I haven't done one yet beginning with 'E'...

In the middle of dancing at Fuzion, a metaphorical light bulb lit above my head (but the force of gravity brought it down to a large, gravitational, metaphorical smash). I have a theory. Now, this theory isn't as refined as Newton's or Einstein's, in fact, it is quite a load of nonsense but it's still a theory nonetheless.

Now, forgive me if this theory sounds a little crude, but it is a natural thing and should be expressed (let it also be said that I have had a few drinks and this may affect my ability of retaining my dignity). Now I shall begin.

When one dances at fuzion, or spends a long day on their feet, their feet are obviously very tired and quite sore. Now unless you are extremely unfortunate, you will have a pair of shoes on your feet. Now, my theory goes like this. I reckon the moment that you take your shoes off is the equivalent of 'ahem' orgasmic energy, therefore having an orgasm in your feet. The sensation of taking your shoes off is a mixture of pain and achy-ness and then sheer pleasure that you can finally sit down and not have a care in the world. I have tried to choose my words carefully but I guess by tomorrow morning I will look back at this and say it was a complete and utter failure.

Light Fuse, run away...

I can honestly say today has been rather hellish! It started with the rude awakening of my sister turning the light on of our communal bedroom. This annoyed me and in my half dream-like, half grumpy morning git mood, I shouted obscenities at my sister, every time getting more and more angry (What can I say, I'm a fiery person, keeps it interesting, yeno?). I got up and watched a programme I have been fair enjoying these last few days, whilst munching on toast and milk! Nom!

'A History of Horror' narrated by Mark Gatiss is a BBC Four programme about the, err, history of horror (funnily enough). I cannot explain what compelled me to watch this. For anyone who knows me well, the last thing I would do is actually watch a horror movie. But the stories, the characters, they all interest me and I can be seen looking these up on Wikipedia from time to time. So when I heard about this programme, I decided to give it a bash and it's very interesting, I would definitely recommend it!

Catch it on BBCiplayer now!

Anyway, unfortunately I had to actually go to university, so I proudly wore my Strathy hoody again and went outside, to be met by absolute pouring rain. I was drowned by the time I got to the bus stop but an 18 came swiftly and I got on. I got a metro, which I can now say I unashamedly love. I would say it's actually better quality than 'The Sun' in all honesty. The 18 was held up by a lot of road works though and I only made it to my first hospitality and tourism tutorial with seconds to spare (well, maybe not that dramatic, there wasn't a countdown or anything...). The tutorial was great! The tutor is quite awesome and he had a box of celebrations which no-one had any qualms about tucking into! Then I went to MDP, where we are now working on excel (which I am atrocious at) and although I get some of it, most of it is a problem (thanks for being so difficult maths). Eventually, I could go home but as I was walking on the bus and I was trying to decide whether to go to Remnant Kings and enquire about the price of material for my halloween costume. Unfortunately, little did I know it was going to prove a potentially costly mistake.

I got off the 18 at Argyle street and did my business at Remnant Kings and I resolved to head back to the bus stop. I got to the bottom of the stairs, put my jacket on, my ipod earphones in my ears and dug out my bus pass, ready to have it at hand. Hmm, then I came across a problem. My bus pass was nowhere on my person. Now, I usually panic at such things but I decided to be calm. I retraced my steps around the shop, asked the staff but alas, to no avail was it there. I retraced my steps in the pissing rain too, until I got to the bus stop, minus the bus pass. My only other option was to ask a driver if I could get on and pay it back later but I knew that this was a very unlikely possibility. It's kinda amazing how many options you think of when you're in a situation like that (before you ask, I did not have any money on me either). A 20 came by and I walked on and asked the driver whether it was possible to get on and pay later or just to get off the bus. He said something about 'not smiling' and for a moment, I was worried that I hadn't been polite enough but he actually said 'Because you said it, not smiling, I assume you are telling the truth'. The guy let me on without any hassle and also gave me a phone number to ring. An excellent chap and I have eternal gratitude towards him (so guys, not all bus drivers are nasty!). I tried to remain unhappy looking on the bus home even though I pretty much was and eventually got home, having had time to think about a defence for when my parents berated me for the loss of it. However, they understood and I rang the bus company and left a voicemail so, fingers crossed, it will come back!

Then, I had a quick sandwich and went round to Natzy's to purchase a christmas present (but I can't go into too much detail)! Then had dinner and played Halo with Calum for six hours, having a great time. Until my dad decided to do his usual eavesdropping and told us off, and when I defended myself, turned the unsaved game off. When we were two minutes away from completing it! Ooft, readers, I can confirm I was not a happy bunny and so I went downstairs and spoke my mind (see previous blog for more inner-thoughts).

So close, yet so fecking far...

So Calum and me decided to go on the laptop and watch Fleetwood Mac in concert (always a good choice) and I think he is quite tired so I shall put him to bed. Tomorrow, it's halloween at Fuzion and I need to make my costume so I'm going to Hamilton. Hopefully, it'll be a better day than today! A strong drink anyone?

No-one comes between 'Halo' and me...

I really do laugh sometimes. Genuinely, throw my head back and laugh. I would guess that if you were to ask the older generation one word to describe teenagers, one of them would be 'immature'. I have long thought that one day I would reach maximum maturity and I thought this was years away (because I like acting like a big kid sometimes) but alas, it seems, by evidence of my father, that I have indeed reached maturity and often, I am more mature than he is. I seriously have no hope in the world if a 40-year-odd man cannot act in an adult manner when it comes to the smallest of things. He's like a big 'wean'. I also realised tonight, that I have no qualms whatsoever at sticking up for myself against my father, because guess what? Parent's surprisingly or not, are not always right! So, whenever you want to start speaking to me, dad, all you have to say is a five letter word starting with a 'S', ending with a 'Y' and has an'ORR' in the middle.

I'm waiting...

Seriously, I can kick the convenant's butt so I can kick yours too...

Sweet Dreams or a beautiful nightmare?

I had another weird dream last night! But it was an excellent dream. However, it is very jumbled and not concise so I shall do my best to recount it!

Okay, the first thing I can remember is that I was having another party in my house with all my friends and I think it was an empty. My house was a state, people were running around, Jamie Oo brought fireworks but it what he thought were fireworks were just those sticks you use to light fireworks. I told them not to light fireworks because I was worried about the noise but Laura Robertson lighted one of the sticks and used it as a Sparkler. Then I went to the patio which I shared with my neighbour and then my mum and dad came home. There were friends staying with my neighbour and they came outside and were complaining about the noise and I said I'd kick everyone out. Then he balanced a beer on top of my head and he said I was stupid and not educated. And I retorted 'Actually, mate, I'm at uni, so go away ya small dick'. Such violence eh? They stormed back into the house and I apologised to my Dad but he seemed not fussed so I went inside and turned down the music, refusing to end the party. Lisa was in the house and then Lauren came and we went downstairs and I told them about my neighbours and we were shocked! I went upstairs to find my friend in her room and I knocked on the door and she let my in with a key code and card. There were people having a sleepover and their cat was on the floor. It then kinda flashed to a scene where I was with a mother, father and daughter and we were in a similar looking room to the one my friend was sleeping in when this kinda ghost came in and possessed the mum. I noticed a difference immediately because the nice straight hair had been replaced by a frizzy, curly bonce and too much eyeshadow but the guy just thought she had gone weird. They went on a chat show, I think it might of been Trisha to sort out this problem and it was at my university and it was sunny and I nearly got run over. Then, I think someone drove me to this park where with my friend we were entered into a rowing competition and our teamword was 'Haggis'.

Yeah...

What will the neighbours say?

Right now: 'Love Machine' - Girls Aloud (what has happened to me...)

Buzz. Buzz. Buzzz. Buzzzzz. 'Huh, huh, 6.00am? Get to fuck!' (Lays back down and restarts snoring).

This is how my morning started. I reset the alarm for 6.20am and I still don't feel like getting up, mainly because of the wind and rain howling outside my window. So I resolve to miss my 9am lecture and make it for the 10am. I get up eventually at 7.20am and had a relatively relaxed getting ready experience. Until I realised I was cutting the bus a wee bit fine. And as I approached the bus stop, the bus came. Therefore it was time to rip my shirt open to reveal a metaphorical superhero costume underneath and I started running to the bus. I know the driver saw me running but he still started to drive off. Luckily, another girl was running too and she was faster and she paid with coins so I managed to catch up albeit, not before the guy had closed the doors. One word: Dick! However, I got my hands on a tasty metro, nom! 

I got to university and met up with Sarah again which was good! However, I can say without hesitation, Human Resource Management was the most boring lecture of my life. Although, it was made fun by Fiona texting me from the back. At one point she texted me saying 'This guy is a fucking dick, you can see him frothing at the mouth from the back. Rank!'. I cannot tell a lie, the amount of self-control not to start rolling about on the floor laughing was immense. I really didn't think I had it in me! Then, Sarah and moi moved over to join Danny for the marketing lecture which was entertaining as always! 'Ahem' Drumroll Please! Harker's joke of the day was:

"What is the plural of Haggis by the way? Is it Haggyi (Pronounced Haggy-eye)." 

He's a legend of the highest order! Finally, it was the management lecture. There are some good and bad points about the lecture. The good points are that the lecturer is an immense hottie, very nice to look at. Also, he incorporates videos into his lectures which is always a nice distraction. Unfortunately, the poor guy can't hold a crowd, so it get's boring very quickly. But you can't have it all, can you? Then, I went into the library to study (facebook and talked to Jane) for an hour and then went to MDP where Gayle called Ultimo. Seriously, that's the only think worth mentioning! Then, I began the trek to Central, in the pissing rain. That was fun. I get there and realised my fiver had a slit in it, so, knowing the machine wouldn't accept it, I had to go to the underground, buy a ticket from the desk, go back up and pay 30p to go to the bathroom. I actually hate having to pay to pee, It's so degrading and it's a human right. I mean, what would happen if I couldn't afford to go? I'll leave that to your imagination. I got on the train and randomly, bumped into Caitlin where we had an immense chat about Collins, her empty and university! Unfortunately, I had to leave her and go into work where I bought some dinner and enjoyed it in the staff cafe with my new found friend, Katie! 

I was then put on the dreaded Health and Beauty, which has become horrible since the refit. Thankfully, I was in no mood to do it tonight and got away by doing three rollers worth of stock and then going to help Robbie with the booze.  Also bumped into Mrs Wilkinson and Mr Mylchreest from school (I'm to now call Mrs Wilkinson, Susan!) and discussed cheese with her! Always fun and she distracted me for an hour and a half, thankfully! I got engaged to Helen as well but that's a long story (and she doesn't have facebook, so she's on the couch tonight)! And one of the signs above the bottled water aisle snapped and could of injured one and my superhero skills were called into action again (by running to tell my manager!) And that's itSorry, I know my blog seems rushed at the end (and it is) but my eyes are starting to close and crust over! Ciao Bello!

I miss missing you...

Right now: 'Clair de Lune' - Debussy

I really haven't felt like blogging these past few days. Normally, I can make the most mundane thing that I have experienced sound as exhillarating as a sky dive but my ability has become lost, forgotten almost dead. Gulp! It surely can only mean one thing. I think I may have...

'Writer's Block'

Eurgh, hopefully I can get over this. I remember not so long ago in the past (Tuesday to be precise) that I would sit on the bus to university going 'Oh man, this is so going in the blog' or 'I can't wait to blog tonight' but the need has left my being. I can't explain it, I've been feeling a bit 'meh' (oh, how I love that word) for a few days but the problem is, there is no reason for it! I think I miss my friends as sad, pathetic (insert stupid word here) as that sounds. Eurgh, fucking tumble dry that wet blouse, Amy!

Anyway, my last blog was Friday, so it would be concise and appropriate to start with Friday (even though I want to rebel and go on to Saturday)! I got up, and I got on a bus and I went to MDP. It was actually quite good. None of the team were feeling it and we had different tutors! But it was a good wee laugh! Then, overrided by my guilty conscience at not attending a single lecture that week (it was a reading week but yeno?), I decided to go to the library and study. And I did. For two hours, even though the average human only has an attention span lasting twenty minutes. Not bad eh? But at seventeen hundred hours, my brain had by then, been reduced to the consistency of moosh, so I decided to call it a day and head home. I read one case study from marketing then chillaxed for the rest of the night. Unfortunately, that is all I remember about Friday so I shall move onto Saturday.

Yes people, I actually studied...

Saturday is now a blur, except that I went to work, so I shall move onto Sunday.

Sunday is also a bit of a blur except that I watched the rangers game round Auntie Sarah's and it was a great game! Also, spotted Clyde the cat, who is absolutely massive and amazingly cute at the same time! I can't believe Millie will become that size! I also worked and we had some amazing banter, including Robbie's usual bad jokes and ripping the piss out of Scabby Aggie (Oh how I enjoy Sunday Nights)! That is all from Sunday too, as you can see, my weekend was possibly the most exciting experience anyone could ever endure (Sarcasm detectors should be off the scale, by the way!). 

He's like a fricking panther!

I shall now move on to today, which should be a wee bit clearer. I realised on Friday night that I had an assignment due in for Monday. Now, I hear you ask, when did I complete this? Erm, about two hours before it was due in. Can it be said that it is possible to hand in an assignment started two hours before it is due in, although it is not ideal, let me tell you (seeing as you did ask)! I decided to sacrifice my lecture in return for handing my assignment in on time, which was the right decision and luckily my team helped me out, which was greatly appreciated! I also presented today as well, by totally winging-it. I'm not getting complacent though, I know I need to work a lot harder but I'm still settling in. After that, relief set in and I went to meet Lauren for lunch and a drink which was very nice. We were also joined by Stephanie and had a nice wee chat about EMA and advanced higher french (which I did not do). At 4pm, we all left and went our separate ways and I got on the bus again! Three things happened. One, I got my hands on a metro (nom!). Another nigerian sat next to me and said 'Hello'. After the last time, I gave a small smile and made it very obvious that my headphones were firmly in. Eurgh, I wish people who just leave me alone! And thirdly, I rang Ellyn, who had been extensively planning the zombie apocalypse and I got some good tips!

And that is all really. Quite a long blog methinks!

My claim to fame...

Okay, let's get a bit of background first and then I'll cut to the chase, okay?

So, on Tuesday afternoon, I managed to grab my hands on a metro. I read it cover to cover and lastly, I got to the comments page. I read some of them, agreeing with people's views on the government and disagreeing with UKIPer (anyone who reads the comments page of the metro will know this guy is a lunatic). Unfortunately, I read a unsettling comment from a person called 'Solvent Man' that basically stated that women were rubbish at business and therefore shouldn't practice it. Now, I am a business student and also the last time I checked, I was indeed a female, so I felt attacked by this. With a nice message saying 'Text us your views' and a mobile phone ready at hand, I texted in my comment. Unfortunately, I didn't get my hands on a metro yesterday on the way to work but as luck would have it, there was one on the bus home from university. I looked everywhere and couldn't see my comment but I wasn't too disheartened! Then, right in the corner a wee comment from Amy, East Kilbride caught my eye! My comment had been posted! Now I would like to thank my family, friends...

It reads, 'Solvent Man, if you were any good at Business, you would have known not to antagonise every single businesswoman who reads this newspaper.' Boo Ya!

P.S I checked today's metro and he hadn't replied back, tee hee!

One man's lateness is another man's earlyness...

I've actually had a day that could only be described as 'Boo Ya'. I got up this morning, showered, got ready and although I was a little late, I made it to the bus stop with a few minutes to spare. The only problem was, today must of been like a national 'OAP Get on a Bus Day' because I think every single OAP in the greater Glasgow area got on the 18 this morning. Amy was not a happy bunny!

However, with my business mind, I thought up contigency and texted my MDP friends to let the tutor know I was going to be late (with a wee fml to go with it). However, by some sort of miracle bestowed by Jared or sheer luck, I actually made it to the tutorial on time. The tutorial went well! My tutor's name is Sudipta. However, whether this is a joke or not, he announced to the tutor group that he would like to be known as 'Ronnie' (because he liked it) and stated he was late because of a night 'full of partying'. I think this guy could become a legend in my book (because I carry around a book called 'Book of Legends'...). The next tutorial took place in the Graham Hills building, which is downhill thankfully as that is the steepest hill ever! This tutor seemed nice enough but because she looks about our age, I doubt I can really relate to her as a tutor. She seemed quite strict as well, oddly enough but we'll see how that goes!

Afterwards, I headed to the union to play a spot of pool with Lauren, Mark and Healy (because I can't refer to him as David). In all honesty, I played one game of pool and I sucked at it majorly. I have played it once before and I bet the guy who taught me the rules but that was five years ago, so I think my child prodigy status as 'Pool Master' has diminished somewhat. Seriously, at one point, just getting potting one ball was my main objective, nevermind actuallty winning but hey, with increased practice, I may yet improve! We then sat down and had a casual chat and then Lauren and me decided we needed to go to the bathroom (as you do) where we found a rather amusing vending machine. Personally, I would like the blow - up sheep, might make a good present for Ellyn!

Aim for the big bunch of balls...

You might remember this from Ivory Blacks Ellyn!

At around six, I bought my breakfast and lunch, a tuna and red onion baguette from the union shop. Since starting university, my eating habits have become very strange! I eat nothing till around 5pm, then from then, I eat, eat, eat! But apparently, this is normal! Whilst nomming my baguette, I bid farewell to Lauren etc. and made my way to the bus station, where the bus was incredibly late. Whilst I was absorbing my surroundings, I noticed what is possibly the jakiest bus I have ever seen. It was so bad, I could imagine all the junkies of the 90's, sitting stoned on this bus... Eurgh, it was just horrible! Luckily, my bus was a newer one. The bad thing though was someone had been sick at the bus of the back, so my now (almost) reserved back seat was out of bounds tonight! However, I made it home in good time and had a fifteen minute power nap! I now feel great! Tomorrow, I'm going to study my ass off in the library and get caught up on all my work, so I don't feel like so much of a loser!

The 'Ahem' Jakey Bus...

Money, that's what we all want...

I have many organisations to blame for my current financial situation. Greggs, because they make yummy sausage rolls at 59p each. First Bus Company, for putting my bus stop right outside a Greggs! Itunes for making me think a 79p tune is cheap but that they actually build-up into an expensive round of songs! And finally Xenomania, the record company for Girls Aloud, who made good songs that I downloaded. (And my second favourite band is Metallica...) Fuck the lot of you!

Why must you make such nice food?

You are so misleadingly expensive...

Why are you destroying the rock in my life?

Smiling till your cheeks hurt...

I love how all my blogs start with an alarm. You have no idea how much it depresses me! But guess what, I got up for the alarm so yeah, take that!

However, I seriously misjudged my timing and I got to work three minutes late (Fuck my life). The good thing is, we have a clock-in machine so as long as I clocked out at 18.03, everything was fine and dandy. My job today, basically, was to welcome all of our customers into our brand new store and offer them a map of the layout. I did this people for six and a half hours (I took a break because I'm cool). But the strangest thing was, I actually enjoyed it and time went surprisingly quick. Plus my patter was excellent (If I do say so myself!).

During my time, I recognised the different types of people that I dealt with. Here they are -

1. The lovely people, who have a conversation with you and leave nice comments
2. The nice people, who make a nice comment and accept a map
3. The people who accept a map and say 'thanks'
4. The people who accept a map and don't say anything
5. The people who refuse a map but say 'No Thanks' (Even though they come back and realise they needed one)
6. The people who just completely ignore you (and have no headphones in)

Number six is by far the worst. It just doesn't cost to have an ounce of gratitude and no manners is my pet hate. However, the best customer was the one who had a 30 Seconds to Mars T-Shirt on and the glyphs tattoed on the back of her neck, which I commented on (I did get a funny look but I explained my super-fan status and she seemed alright with it). However, despite all the 'shite guys', most were lovely and I got some nice comments too so all in all, a good wee day! Also, to say thanks for everyone's help during the re-fit, I got a free mug with Sainsbury's goodies and a wee card from the manager. Call me a sook, but I enjoy personal touches and appreciate recognition!

I appreciate my work...

Though, I am now so tired, I am majorly considering an early night although I am getting up at 11am tomorrow, Score!

Final Thought: I love how 'blogs' came up as a spelling error!

Standing on the edge of the earth...

Seriously, I need a boot up the arse. I apologise for being crude but it is that very phrase that describes my relationship with university right now. My heart really isn't in it yet. I haven't read a single page of a textbook. I haven't written up my own notes yet. I've done one assignment. I have already missed lectures...

The list goes on and on. I must admit, because of the abnormally long summer we had, it still feels like I can still go out whenever I want to and have fun, often forgetting that I am bound to an educational institute that houses some of the brightest minds in the country. I sometimes feel I don't belong there because I don't feel smart enough. I also feel terrible for not doing the above mentioned things, yet not terrible enough to go upstairs and start reading my textbook from cover to cover.

Which is why thankfully, after talking to some of my friends, I have found out that we are all pretty much in the same boat. We are all confused, unsure, uncommitted so far, which gives me reason to believe that I can get over this little blip, or dip in the rollercoaster and start actually making progress with my course because I genuinely do enjoy what I attend. Here's hoping anyway...

There are eight ponks in a schlib...

The alarm was set again today, and again I slept through it. Nothing new there. I think I may be starting to gain immunity against the most annoying noise in the world. Speaking of alarms, I wish to share with you a piece of advice. Never set your alarm noise as a song you actually like. After the hundredth time of hearing it, you actually realise that the song has become annoying, as your brain associates the song with getting up (which is the hardest challenge of daily life for me and an experience I find emotionally unsettling).

Anyway, got ready uber quickly and just made it to the bus stop, with two bags and a pair of loose jeans that consistently needed pulling up (also, very annoying). As I sat on the bus and read the Metro (It's kinda pathetic how excited I get when I get my hands on a metro), I caught a glance at the man in front of me. Never in my life have I ever been so convinced that a murderer was sitting across from me. On his jacket, was what looked like the imprint of a knife, an imprint conveniently a shade of red. Luckily, he got off at George Square and I got off at Buchanan Bus Station and walked, again to the Sir William Duncan building (do you see how repetitive my life is getting?). It was MDP today though and I think my team and me became better friends today! Although the task we had to do was proposterous in all honesty. We had to work out via problem solving skills (which my parents did not genetically pass to me in any way) what day an obelisk was completed on about 4000 years ago. We had to work out ponks, schlibs, zins etc. The question that was bothering the most was 'Do I actually care?'. Probably not but it was a laugh and I actually, strangely and confusingly enjoyed it. I then walked to Central and whilst sitting down I noticed the one - legged pigeon that resides in Central. I got a sneaky wee shot of him too!

Poor little Mucker!

I boarded a train in the station that smells strongly of potatoes to Hamilton West and had an uneventful journey. I had a McDonalds and then got ready for a four hour shift at work. I can't lie, the new store is opening tomorrow and I am no building expert but that shop is nowhere near ready. Thankfully, it went rather quick and I got home and had a wee bite to eat. Currently, I am enjoying a pear cider and laughing at my cat, who has fallen asleep in my bag!

Aha, what a tit!

My lover of the day...

was 'The Hoff'. Now, watch you catch that drool!

This picture hangs up in the Modern Languages department at School, no joke...

The strange tale of the Crack fox...

I'm sorry to worry you but Devon reminded me that the apocalypse has already begun, with foxes, so I would maybe try to hurry up your thinking process, I know I have...

An interpretation of what a zombie fox would look like...

Nom nom brains nom...

Right now: 'Teenage Dream' - Katy Perry

The first thing I would like to tackle in this blog is the sudden realisations I have been realising in regards to my age. I am now allowed to go on fruit machines and gamble all my hard-earned cash on cherrys. Also, I realised that I could theoretically walk out my house, with cash and go to my local supermarket and buy fireworks. Weird.

Secondly, someone posted a status about a new programme about zombies and it got me thinking. Let's face it, sometime in the future, a zombie apocalypse will happen. It is just destiny, fate if you will, so there is no point falling on the floor and lamenting (seriously, get up). Instead, maybe you should use the precious time we have left to consider preparing. Now, preparing could be something as little as having a clear, concise plan thought up in that tasty brain of yours about where you plan to go, what you plan to do, how you plan to defend yourself from a rampaging horde of zombies and etc. or it could be on a massive scale such as stockpiling chainsaws and shotguns (both would be my weapon of choice).

I'm not getting ahead of myself, I just like a good plan.

Say 'Hello' to your impending new neighbours...

That's one salty tomato!

'Stupid russian builders in orange jackets continually knocking at my door!' Well, that's what happened in last night's dream! I love having vivid dreams though, they make the night time more entertaining!

Anyway, last night, I was all cosy in bed, ready to drop off to my slumber when I realised that my phone was downstairs, hence, no alarm. Luckily, I only slept in by fifteen minutes and so, I had plenty of time to get ready and out for my three 'o' clock management tutorial. I had plenty of time so I casually wandered to the bus stop and as I was the only one there, sat down and watched the world go by (yeah...). As I was sitting there watching said world go by, I began thinking about my theory which is 'Everyone has a bus face'. A bus face is an expression worn by all occupants on a bus, and it is only on a bus this expression can be used. It consists of a sort of pout, if you will, and a glazed look over the eyes, much like a zombie. Seriously, next time you're on a bus, look around and you will see the bus face. (I would like to point out, the only time I never used a bus face was when I discovered the concept of the bus face, and started laughing my head off.)

Trying to re-create the bus face at a bus stop did not work...

Anyway got to university and realised I am getting used to the walk from Buchanan Bus Station to the Sir William Duncan building (I have to make a nickname for this building) as I seem to be doing it quicker (or maybe time was going slower, who knows?) What followed was possibly the most pointless tutorial I have ever had the misfortune to attend. We did a questionnaire then got let out after half an hour! Why did I get up for that, oh wait it's because it's compulsory! Stupid university. Anyway, I realised that I had had nothing to eat all day when my stomach rumbled so I went to the restaurant at the union and ordered 'Mac n Cheese'. It was actually very nice for £2.75! I walked from the union to the bus station and waited for a bus for a while before hopping on and ringing Ellyn for about an hour which was very nice. Hopefully, planning a wee trip to Bangor in the very near future so should be good! Now, I'm eating 'cheese and biscwuits' and watching spooks. And because it's reading week for most of my lectures, I don't have to get up at 6am tomorrow, YAY!

Oh weee ohhh weee macaroni...

Final thought: My misheard lyric of the week is 'Shutterbug' by Big Boi. It was the first song on the Headphone Disco Mixtape and although I enjoyed it very much, the line 'Baby baby, You're in my sister' disturbed me to no-end, but now I have realised that it is 'Baby baby, you're in my system'. Major mental mind fuck averted!

I've reached the big one...

This is just to announce that this is my fortieth blog. It's quite scary, having reached the big 4-0 but they say blog sites begin at forty, so I am relishing the new experiences an old blogger like me will begin to enjoy. Please leave all gifts and cards at my house, thank you.

Life begins...

It's impossible to be unhappy in a poncho...

I'm really struggling to blog tonight, I'm actually so tired, I could fall asleep right now (although, calculating the trajectory, my face would hit the keyboard of my laptop and I would wake up a few hours later with tiny little squares into my face, a hilarious mental image!)

After a long night, I went to bed shortly before 6am and got up about 1pm, not a great lie in, particularly because my brother wanted on the Xbox. I had lunch and then went to work at 4pm. The day went in really quick and I've signed up to do more overtime, again. I'm extremely crazy to do this but it increases the bank balance I suppose!

Anyway, I got back, had dinner and watched Desperate Housewives. I forget how much I like that programme, it's hilarious! Anyway, probably going to stay up, typing on msn and waiting for someone to update their status on facebook so I can like it. Jealous much?

Also, Devon and me flirt so much, we should be made illegal. That is all.

I'm 'avin 'oops...

Firstly, a wee video dedicated to my lovely friend, Janey, who reads my blog every day! (Love you babe!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Lt2U7_NImQ

Right, so today I had another dream. A horrible one about age, growing old and hot men becoming ugly. That is enough detail, it was traumatising enough. I had a great lie - in though and I appreciated the lack of alarm this morning! (Haha, fuck you phone!) I had to re-do the sheets of my bed today. A task that is quite challenging for me. No joke, it took about half an hour, mainly because I have the tendency to put the duvet cover over my head and pretend I am either a giant marshmallow or a ghost (whichever I feel like on the day). Anyway, with bed finally made, I head down for luncheon, which was very nice and then showered and got ready for a 4pm start at work.

I really need to change my calendar...

To say it was soul-destroying would be the understatement of the century. Half the time, I didn't have a clue what to do and then when I did have a job, It was so mind-numbingly boring, I very nearly reached for a shotgun (maybe not that dramatic, I'm just trying to convey my feelings, Okay?!). Finally at 8pm, I practically ran out of the door. I swear, not even a herd of wild horses could of stopped me leaving (Subo might of though) and then I went home, again, glammed myself up and went out to Fuzion.

Fuzion was excellent. I don't know who the DJ was but he deserved a pat on the back (he would of probably appreciated a drink better but oh well) for playing such tunes as 'Dirrty', 'When you're looking like that' and 'Be Faithful'. I actually had a brilliant night and it was good seeing everyone again. Then, I went to the chippy for that 3am Chips and Bru and then got a taxi back to my house. An excellent, excellent day!

Always got to have a toliet mirror photo...

'I stole the Statue of Liberty, although it was the one from Vegas'...

Right Now: 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World' - Tears for Fears

As with every weekday now, a new day starts with an alarm. In this case, an alarm and an excellent dream! I was late getting up (story of my life) and whizzed around the house, trying to tidy, get Millie sorted and get ready for uni, all in half an hour. Somehow, by some miracle bestowed by God (Thanks Jared), I made it to the bus stop in time albeit, panting very heavily. I got on the bus and then made my way to the 'Sir William Duncan' building (sounds posh but trust me, it ain't) and endured probably the most pointless half an hour of my life in the lab session. All I could think was 'I got up for this?'. However, I found out that next week is a reading week, which means 'No Lectures' Yay!

I dropped into the town centre and decided to get a little something for each of my family member because I felt like it. I got my dad Ecclefechan Tarts (they are amazing by the way, you can buy them from your local Sainsbury's, not like I'm promoting my work or anything...), my mother, cheese and wine and siblings a big bag of Maltesers each! I got home and gave the presents and I got one back, so result! But it was nice having them home, until my dad upset me! Alas, that's what happens in this house but we patched it up although I'm still angry slightly because I am eighteen and I can do bloody well what I please! (Thanks for the applause...)

After dinner, Jill came round and then we got a lift to the cinema to go and see 'Despicable Me' with Mark, Michael, Owen, Grant and Scott. It was such a good movie, I laughed and cried (as I do with every movie, television programme or book). Grant did the yawn technique, which cough, 'impressed' me and Owen showered half of me whilst opening a bottle of Irn Bru! Then Scott gave me a lift home and I got in the front because I'm cool like that. Thanks Scott! Och, it was a grand wee day and I can't lie, I'm looking forward to a lie in tomorrow!

D'awwww...

Review of 'Despicable Me'

'Despicable Me' is the new animated film by Universal and it stars Steve Carell, Jason Segal (Who I adored in, 'I love you, man' and Russell Brand.

Plot


Basically, an evil genius wearing a very stylish stripey scarf decides he is going to steal the moon! However, his nemesis (very twisted) steals a very valuable piece of equipment and only the local orphans who sell cookies can get access into his house. So what does he decide to do? That's right, Adopt the children. Then, the film tells how he becomes a father figure to the kids etc.

Characterisation


The best characters are the little yellow minions, who have an adorable language and remind me of the raving rabbids out of Rayman albeit, cuter. However, the nemesis, it was decided, was a paedophile so that was not so good.

Humour


I laughed, lots.

All in all, it was a very funny film and I was crying when they got a kiss goodnight (I am a girl's blouse), however, contrary to what the others said, it wasn't as good as 'Up'.

7/10

Twas Excellent!

Finally...

I've worked out how to change the time, so my blog will not be americanised anymore, not that I have a problem with America...

I've had a little bit too much...

I had a beast dream last night, a weird dream, but a beast one at that. However, details are getting sketchy as the day goes on so I shall recount it for you now.

The first thing I remember is working in an underground warehouse for Sainsbury's, an evil organisation with my manager being evil too, although I feel I was being coerced into working for them. Luckily for me though,  I was on the right side of my manager so that's all good. I was then driving along and then I entered my house and my other manager is sitting in my armchair staring at me and I completely ignore him. I then, for some reason unknown, decide to take 'Just Dance' by Lady Gaga, adapt it with my own lyrics about my daily life and upload it to Facebook. I don't expect anything of it but the praise I start to get is immense. My cousin comments and then a band she knows says 'It's one of the most talented things we've ever seen'. I'm guffawing at it all because I know I'm a talentless wretch. Then, I'm in a church hall, with a crowd of people and I'm auditioning for a part in Oliver! (which is a musical I hate with a passion) and I was going to get the role of Nancy. Devon was mentioning her trip to an art gallery with Mark on Friday (I don't know why). Then, even more bizzarely, I became a member of Monty Python and was running around trying to find Eric Idle.

Then I woke up.

Have you seen this man?

Avoiding a conflict, he concentrates on the selection of Anti Pasti...

Alan Rickman, for a man of a ripe ol' age, you are still immensely nom. And your voice melts like chocolate. I would. That is all.

Mmmmm...

Maybe they've gone to kill the cheese...

The above quote is from Devon. Again, she seems to have been awarded 'Quote of the Week'. Is this a reflection on her? Who knows, all I know is, it's funny!

I had a good sleep with very little coughing which was good so hopefully that means I am getting over this bout of asthma and it will, politely, 'fuck off'. I woke up and took care of the cat's needs and did a wee bit of tidying up (absolutely shocking, I know!) and then sat down. Readers, I had another urge (and by the way, these are getting increasingly more frequent). I started craving a BBQ Pizza from Pizza Hut and when I have a craving, I make sure it gets satisfied (Devon, stop thinking dirty).

I think that's pretty...

My sick bay...

So I decided to group text the 'lads' and out of the sixteen I invited, three made it. Although three is better than none! I must also add, that when I was glamming myself up, I did my eye makeup so well! I was very impressed with my make - up skills. Also, my hair sat nicely tonight and it will probably be the only night it will for a while (FML). Anyway, Devon, Laura and Lisa came round and we ordered around 8pm and did it all online and went for the 'Full Works' deal (with an added BBQ for me). However, when the doorbell went around 9pm (quite prompt I thought), I couldn't find my keys. In a state of panic we had to do a 'Hanna' (quite a funny story) and I asked the delivery guy if he could deliver through my kitchen window. It worked well and we all sat about and enjoyed pizza, pepsi, potato skins, chicken strips, cookie dough and the tiniest tub of vanilla ice-cream ever! We then sat about the table gossiping, fraping me and generally having a nice night in before they all went home. (Devon, you are quite a good driver, may I say!). So I am now sitting around with a table full of pizza boxes. I'll do it in the morning...

The aftermath...

We can live like Jack and Sally if we want...

I was group texting people today about a possible dominoes night and whilst scrolling through my address book, there were two names that I wish I could invite but I couldn't. It upset me because both would of probably have came and we would of had an epic night but sadly we are all separated by borders, land and seas. However, I will see them both very soon because if I don't, I will march down there, 'chap' (hope you appreciate that) the door violently until they let me in for a big embrace and a catch up! So Ellyn and Hanna, I miss and love you two!

I have my sources...

What a fringe!

Are we human or are we dancing?

Last post of the night, I promise!

I have been watching the chilean miners being rescued, one by one, since around half ten and I have to say watching it has restored some of my lost faith that humanity only destroys and harms. I don't know these men, I can't imagine what they have been through but watching them being reunited with their loved ones is very emotional, especially the ones who have children. I feel like I was cheering them on and I genuinely hope they all come out the other end and lead normal lives. All in all, it has been a feel-good experience watching this, so thank you Sky News!

Some Party eh?

The last guy to be rescued...

When they brought him up...

Nommy Bastard...

Oh, I was just struck by my obsession of Jared Leto again. If you have ever wondered what God could possibly look like then look no further than below.

Bloggin' oot yer nut...

Devon finally has a blog, YAY! All the inspiring, pushing (forcing, bullying) finally paid off!

Follow her at: http://devonash12.blogspot.com/

Hell Yeah!

Something to tell the folks back home...

Right Now: 'Colourless Colour' - La Roux

My yearly bout of asthma has returned with a vengeance and I feel like absolute shite. I'm not even exaggerating when I say I struggle to breathe. I would liken it to a goldfish out of it's bowl, which must be extremely unfortunate. I got no sleep last night and had to get up at 4am and make myself tea to soothe my chest! It wasn't pleasant.

Yet again, my alarm failed and I woke up when I was supposed to leave the house. I whizzed around the house and made it out at 11am and got to the town centre and got a taxi to Hamilton with just ten minutes to spare. I was unimpressed with the fare though, thirteen quid, an expensive lie in eh?

I started work at 12am and went on frozen which wouldn't of been too bad if Sainsbury's would care to provide me a fleece. It's seriously starting to annoy me, all the new starts have one except me, it's not fair and it may be contributing to my illness.Then I dressed tins (which is boring as it sounds) and then did Bakery transfers with Nicole (I love how I'm talking about this as if you all know what I'm talking about). I took a break where I had a plate of 43p Chips (which were awesome by the way) and then took an hour where I had sweet and sour chicken, cooked to perfection in the staff microwave which I have no clue how to work. We then called to a meeting to begin the emptying of the store into the marquee as we are closing down for a week. It was then my chest decided to die and it had been fine all day. During the store manager's and co-ordinateur's speeches, I tried so hard to keep quiet and not cough, and as a result my eyes were watering, my breathing got very shallow and I basically felt like I was going to become a giant puddle of Catarrh. I looked like a zombie as well (Just thought I'd throw that in there). Inevitably something was going to happen and as I burst into a cough, a shitload of phlegm came up too. There I was, sitting with a mass of phlegm in my hands in front of 160 employees, every manager and with the store manager to my immediate right. LUCKILY, only my table of good friends noticed and Rebecca got me napkins and Nicole rushed for my inhaler. Needless to say, the store manager sent me home and even offered a lift which I thought was very nice. I waited outside for fifteen minutes and chatted away to Jordan (whom I made very nervous every time I coughed) and then was whisked away to my abode by Auntie Sarah. So all in all, not an excellent day but oh well.

Final thought  - "The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when Mating. Only 10% enters the female.And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?!"  - This made me whitey!

Summer Dubbin' Happened so fast...

Here are some of my favourite photos of the summer of 2010! These are up until the beach party (even though that was in September, talkin' aboot?)

Very Smiley...

Most of the gang all together...

Such an epic day, photoshoot for the win...

Had to include a picture from Allan's because it was the funniest night ever...

I miss you...

Laura's was a good piss up an all...

Camping...

After a fell off the chair...

Pile up on my stairs...

Love, Love, Love...

Grantham's was excellent too...

Spread my arms and soak up "Congratulations"...

I would like to announce that I have actually surpassed the number of blogs on my old account on this one, so I think I deserve a well-deserved pat on the back (with maybe a bottle of champagne to go with it)!

I thought I'd give myself a sticker...

You gave me a piano with all eighty eight keys...

Right Now: 'Hands' - The Ting Tings

I have come to the conclusion that the psychic lady was wrong. She predicted I would get a degree but at the rate I'm going, this will not happen. I was alarmed by the alarm at 6am, precisely on time and knowing my being couldn't get out of bed yet, I gave myself another fifteen minutes. I woke up at half nine. Fuck my life sprang to mind at that point and yet I turned over and went back to sleep. I am such a failure in life.

However, MDP tutorials started today which are nicely compulsory. So I got up and ready, with my strathclyde hoody proudly providing me snuggability and I got on the bus and made it to the tutorial. I met up with my team who all seem very nice, especially because we are all girls, the only all girl team in the class (which I think, puts us at an advantage). We had to introduce ourselves to the class which was organised in the last two minutes (which always seems to work for some reason) and then we became a production line, making japanese waterbombs out of paper. Whilst deciding our roles, I was hit with a flashback of 2nd year Art when we tried to make origami swans. Let's just say my swan looked like one out of bird sanctuary (no offence intended). Therefore, I put myself forward for overseer and managed to keep morale up. We made the most out of the whole class, so I was very proud of all our efforts!

Twenty Six Waterbombs oot yer nut...

Then, I walked the walk (but I didn't talk the talk, I had my IPod in) to Central to catch a train to Hamilton in the underground where it strongly smells of piss yet a little boy decided it smelled like potatoes instead! I was on the train when the robot woman who tells you where the hell you are decided to fuck it up and make me have a heart attack by saying it was going to the SECC. Fortunately, the lady was wrong and she was put in her place when we arrived in Rutherglen (she was put in her place in my head). I went to McDonalds for dinner where I finally plucked up the courage, took the plunge and ordered twenty chicken nuggets and a coke. I thought I'd get weird looks but they arrived promptly and it was kinda awesome. All the five years olds with their measly four nuggets were looking at my box of chickeny goodness with green jealously (mainly by pointing and going 'Mummy, look at dat!).

I had to take a picture of this momentous occasion...

I started work at six and it was the busiest and coldest shift of my life. Working in fresh for four hours without a fleece? Hell! But it went in so quick, I can't complain! Plus, I saw a kid kick the shit out of a cardboard cut out of Pixie Lott which provided a chuckle. Uncle Sandy kindly gave me a lift home and when I got in, I made Bacon on toast after stacking them for about an hour. It was kinda awesome, and I enjoyed my grub whilst watching 'The IT Crowd', series four! All in all, an excellent day!

P.S Moist is the worst word in the english vocabularly.