Resolve to resolute...

Okay, so my last blog of 2011 was an absolute stonker of an anti-climax. A very disappointing attempt even by my standards. For that, I truly apologise. But, on the positive side of things, it is a new year and therefore, naturally, there comes the traditional bout of making resolutions and not sticking to them in the slightest. Quite the traditionalist myself, I have come up with a few myself and so, without further ado, here they are.

1. Start Blogging Again

An obvious one, mainly because my lack of blogging has had quite a frightful effect on poor Devon, who for some reason, enjoys reading these awful accounts! Therefore, who am I to withhold that sort of amusement from her? Plus, the fact that there used to be a time where I found blogging fun instead of a chore; it would be nice to get back to that stage again.

2. The year of frugality

My finances are a mess to be frank with you. Overdrafts are evil, tempestuous things that embody the very essence of the devil. Therefore, one needs to stop spending to get back in the black (I think that's the term anyway). Plus, with mind-boggling expenditure such as studying abroad and T in the Park to save up for now, life is going to get very tough. I'm not particularly sure how I'm going to curb my spending habits without the help of a financial aid but I'll figure it out at some point.

3. Get my big arse back to the gym

Yes, a place I once couldn't wait to go to is now a place of trepidation. It's what the staff will say when they recognise me and realise I haven't been in quite a long time. However, no matter how much I would like to get the weight loss regime back on track, exams are the time necessity of the moment and they must come first, even if I do not wish them too.

4. Start reading books again

I have not read a book till I finished Dorian Gray, which I hasten to add, took me six months to read, it was that awful. My brain needs stimulation and it's not getting that, which does sadden me. So even if I aim to read a book a month, then that would be a start.

5. Try harder at university

Self explanatory to be honest. Better attendance, more potent concentration levels and more hours at the library are the remedy to this situation. I did improve last year to be fair to myself. However, it is still not enough.

6. Stop being shallow and horrible

I am in absolutely no position to say half the stuff I say. FACT. Maybe it's an outlet to my frustration? No excuse really. I say nasty things and I pass myself off as a kind person. Pfft, get it sorted mate. I do disgust myself with the stuff I say sometimes. Therefore, a few new leaves need to be turned over. I also need to be nicer to my sister. Half of the time, she deserves it but sometimes I'm so horrible to her for no reason, it shames me! I've become a grumpy old woman at the tender age of 19. Fuck my life is a necessary term.

7. Stop swearing so much

As of now. Three swear words a day, like a diet of the mouth.

8. Be more impulsive

Not sure how this is going to work with a squeeze of expenditure but it has come to my attention that I am far to predictable. Granted, it is Devon who predicts these things and she does know me like the back of her hand but still! It takes the excitement out of our relationship!

9. Gain fluency in German

Oaft. This is a meaty challenge but do-able. I have done a bit of thinking over the last weekend and I feel Germany may be a more realistic option for going abroad. However, the fact that I could be living in the country that Herr Merkel rules slightly terrifies the scheiße out of me!

10. Better networking

I am enforcing a rule of taking no longer than an hour to reply to a text and to make sure I retain good relationships with my friends. No more stupid jealousy which I am akin to suffer (to my shame) or any other activity that is 'meh'. Just the nice parts of me, more often!

So that should all be a doddle, right guys? Ha! Who am I even kidding?

Two, Zero, One, One

Guys, get your pacemakers fitted and your defibrillators at the ready... I am back. Wow, there's a lot of dust here...

Now, heart attacks and dust mites aside, I thought it was both necessary and fitting to write a last blog of the year, which is why I have come back, risen from the dead, chipped away at the writer's block etc. Last year, to mark the new year,  I did highlights. This year, despite my absolute lack of energy and being-arsed-ment, I feel that it would be an injustice to not blog about such a great year! I also especially waited until now because it is New Year's Eve and it is even more special poignant (I love how that word is spelt).

To begin, an extract from last year.

"After this year, it has made me determined to make more of my life, grabbing opportunities and experiences as soon as I see them. I have so much to look forward to next year and I want to put all my energy and soul into next year so I can say 2011 was the best year of my life. "

Being a soppy sack was never cool Amy, never cool...

'Ahem'. So my hope last year was to make 2011 the best year of my life. I think I achieved that! (Celebratory fanfare starts but ends abruptly due to my headache).Oh gosh, I sound so meh! I think I need to embody the japanese 'happy happy' spirit for the rest of this. 'Gulp', Here it goes...


January


Nothing particularly exciting happened in January... EXCEPT FOR WALES! Seeing little Ellyn and her flatmates was, eventful, to say the least. I made three new friends and got exceptionally drunk and got up to exceptionally drunken shenanigans. I also got my 'I survived Bitch Hill' T-Shirt which I am immensely proud of. (That was a lie).

Mius Kayleigh!

February


I went to see My Chemical Romance (and before a lot of people lynch me, FT HATERZ). They were well good. I also met Debby that night, who has become a very good friend of mines (I hate you, you're a very bad person Devon for thinking what you just thought). It also marked the first few times I went to Polo with my dear leader, Mark (which I think should stick). I also loved...and lost. But had fun at the time! By this point, my mind was blown! I also got a blackberry and joined the smartphone generation!

March


March marked my birthday! My nineteenth to be precise and it was an eighties extravaganza. I also managed their extraordinary feat of getting Mark to go to a club that was not Polo. Amazing really. Hanna also visited from Sweden and Fusi's nineteenth at Propaganda, a great night had by all!

April


Went to Edinburgh with Mark, which was a truly banterful and wonderful day, being wee cultural tourists and such japes! Also, had an epic night at Leon's house, which was very drunken, very very drunken and hilariously funny. Possibly one of the best nights of my life.

I've lost the will.

The 'C' Word

Haha, how long has it been since I blogged? An age? Funny I should mention the word 'age'...

Remember Natalie in Fable? Although she will always have a small, tiny niche of my heart, the other 99.9% is comprised of my utter adoration for another fictional, graphical, pixelated and above all, UNREAL character. Alistair of 'Dragon Age Origins'.

He is the love of my gaming life. His wit, charm, looks and humour is what makes me get up in the morning (and turn on the xbox).

I have also realised that this makes me a very sad human being and therefore, needs to get a life. So I have decided to look forward to the big event of the year.

CHRISTMAS!

When it comes to Christmas, I embody the spirit of a five year old. I am always excited for it and I intend to make this Christmas the best Christmas ever! I barely slept last year and I was eighteen so God knows when I will grow out of it. So, here is what I intend to do in the month of December!

1. The first plan is to go out for Christmas dinner with Mark, Devon and Mark in Glasgow and then go to George Square to see all the twinkly lights and go on the merry-go round (as I cannot ice skate for peanuts!). Then, I intend to have a christmassy night in with that lot and another special person where we'll have roast turkey (probably out of M&S), Crackers, Mince Pies (no matter how much lunacy Devon and Mark display over their appeal) and BOOZING! Lots of boozing! Perhaps a round of Christmas Beer Pong would suffice?

2. The Strathclyde Business Ball is obviously majorly exciting! However, if I do not start going back to the gym, the dress I ordered will not fit, which could not be more of a disaster! It has already been agreed that whilst Mark and me get ready in the hotel room, that Michael Buble's christmas album will be playing in the background, as well as an abundance of pre-drinking! If only Celine had a christmas album...

3. Finally the big December event is, of course, Hogmanay! Ashton Lane Street Party anyone?!

The Pearl and Moustache

It seems that life is all doom and gloom at the moment, with tonight bringing the sad news that my guidance teacher at Duncanrig, Mr Tom Guinney has tragically passed away.

This man was properly selfless and had a massive heart. He was always there with a smile on his face, his glasses resting on the end of his nose and he was possibly the one out of a hundred men who could grow such an incredible moustache.

I owe the man a lot. He was the one who sat down with me and went through every aspect of my university application and he gave me a glowing reference, something which I am eternally grateful for. I'm convinced that without his kind words, I would not be doing what I want to do with my life. But he did that everyone and every year he took the time to help people begin the rest of their lives.

There is now a hole in Duncanrig that can never be replaced. That is true. And as everyone who even remotely connected with the Duncanrig community will know that tragedy is never far from us. The loss of Mr Murray, of Max and the two Jack's and all the lives interconnected with these events that have been forever altered, it all adds up to quite a gloomy picture. However, like we have done when these horrible things have happened, we suit up, chin up and walk on because that's life, however cruel and harsh it can be

Rest in peace Mr Guinney, you were another pivotal person in my life who will never be forgotten.

"A hero is a man who does what he can"

Today, one of my heroes died. It's quite a hard thing to comprehend.

The funny thing is, I didn't realise how much of an inspiration this person was to me until he was gone. You may call me overemotional or silly to be personally affected by this man's passing but I'm sensitive. Of course, the person I'm talking about is the incredible Steve Jobs, co-founder of 'Apple' who died at the tragically young age of fifty-six yesterday.

Last year, I did a lot of research on Apple for my marketing essay in first year and I found learning about Apple and Jobs very interesting, possibly contributing to my ongoing interest in the subject this year. However, let's not beat about the bush; Jobs revolutionized the technology that we see today, whether it can be seen or not. He was part of the team that developed the first personal computer, he was pushed out of the very company he had set up in 1986, only to invest wisely in, at the time a little-known and new film studio, Pixar (you may have heard of it). In 1997, as Apple was heading to the administrators, he came back and u-turned the company into one of the most successful technology corporations of all time, if not 'thee' best. And let's not forget the iPod, iTunes, the iPhone which set the bar with Smartphones and the ipad. With such credentials as these, you can see why he is such an inspiration to many people, including myself.

Although he did not achieve all this single-handedly, it was his impressive leadership skills, his drive, passion and commitment to Apple that made it the company it is today. All day I have been watching him present his new products to conferences around the world on Youtube, his public speaking skills were the pinnacle of entertainment and clarity.

All this and much more, is why my heart sank this morning when I was on the bus and found out he had passed away. I have literally thought about nothing else all day. He changed the world, whether you know it or not and made it better, for everyone. He was a unique person, one of a kind and that is why to me, as a person studying business, he is such a hero to me.

Rest in peace Steve Jobs, your legacy will live on through the generations of people you have inspired.

That downward incline...

I missed my first lecture today... and it's the second week. However, I would totally like to take this opportunity to justify why I missed it and I'm sure once I've explained it in all it's colour, clarity and glory, you will understand and possibly agree with me.

1. It was 6am.
2. My muscles are the consistency of rock at the moment, which is agonising.
3. 6am.
4. Lying in bed for another four hours is a temptation no-one should have to deal with.
5. 6AM.
6. I would have had to wait three hours for my next class.
7. MOTHERFUCKING 6AM!
8. You can get the lecture notes online and I probably would have fell asleep anyway.
9. Can I stress that I had to get up at 6am?!

Now, you see the course of action I took was not only appropriate but sensible too! Good ol' me. However, to be truthful, I felt really guilty about it, like I'd come off the wagon, so hopefully I'll man up next week when the time comes again!

Also, I finished Fable 2 tonight and I finally got my wife, the wonderful Natalie back. Words could not describe how happy I was to see her, since she had gone missing (which I now understand was when Lucien's men kidnapped and killed her) and then my kid ran across the market square and asked if I remembered him. It could have brought tears to my virtual eyes because, naturally, of course I remembered him! It was at that moment I knew I had made the right choice to save them from death. I also got a nice wee letter from my sister, who was also ressurected. Though I was a little upset she never came to meet me, so I am slightly miffed. So, because I'm a top dad and all, I gave little Tobias a present, 'Captain Dread's Sword' so that he can show his friends who's boss, which would be me (I am a hero after all). So what's left for me in Albion? Well I am now in the process of cashing in my wealth and investing in property, as I have semi-retired from saving the world at this present moment in time. I have found a nice wee estate in Oakfield which I wish to move my family to, so that little Tobias can run around in the good ol' country air and Natalie and me can rebuild our family again (ten years imprisoned in the Spire did not do our relationship any good) and so that she stops moaning about how crap our house on Bowerstone Market is (I thought it was a central location myself but you know, the wife is always right).

You know you're a fail in life when you can't even do a press up...

Today marked the fifth day of being a gym member and I have been four times, which in all honesty, is pretty good (Well in my biased opinion anyway). My eating habits have changed drastically, as has my tea consumption (always hungry equals turning into a Granny); I am literally a tea leaf at the moment. However I'd rather be a tea leaf than a chocolate bar (Don't know really know where I'm going with this so I'm going to leave that analogy where it belongs: The Dustbin).

However, the slight downside to this 'Get Fit' regime is that I think I'm losing brain cells due to all this exercise (which let's face it, is unfamiliar territory for me). I mean, what sort of person forgets to bring a towel with them when they go into a sauna? And then to add even more insult to injury, has a shower and becomes a walking puddle? I'm beginning to truly worry about myself. The sauna was fun though. Especially because the first one we entered was malfunctioning and Debby and me were chilling in a 100 degree heat asking ourselves if this was what a sauna was like (which was death, for your information). Then we went into the steam room and my God, it does some wonders to your skin! I feel smooth (but not like a baby's bottom, I find that analogy weird and slightly creepy).

I'm just genuinely hoping that my enthusiasm does not wane over time because that would be a really bad thing. I guess I'm getting to that stage in my life where something needs to be done and finding out my BMI was not a massive shock but still enough to get my life (and butt) into gear. Being this way has almost robbed me of my teenage years but it won't spoil my twenties!

So, thinspiration of the day goes to Pixie Lott!

Tea saves lives, FACT.

Readers, I am sad to say that I am currently locked in a battle of wills. A battle of wills in which only the strongest will survive and in the end, there can be only one winner. It is intense and complicated and can only be won through a combination of sheer determination and strength on one's part.

So yeah, maybe I did hype my battle with the fridge up slightly but most people don't understand what a manipulative and imposing rival this metal white box makes. Let me explain in more detail...

For the last few years, when one stays up late at night, the fridge provides a place of activity, entertainment and food, LOTS OF FOOD. However, our tentative relationship has become strained recently, mainly due to the fact that it was there to provide me with some recreation,  not to turn me into a walking blob.

So, I am now in a death match with my fridge.

An artist's impression of the death match. HADOUKEN!

However, in this fight with the fridge, I have an unlikely ally and his name is Tea. Tea's warm loveliness entering my belly dissolves all of hunger and definitely muffles the callings of the fridge (who has also decided to recruit the evil cupboards as henchmen in his war). He's even tried to break me by having a pot of 'Philadelphia' in the fridge but I will be strong, drink tea and carry on!

That's all folks, I will submit a progress report tomorrow!

Juan Pablo Di Pace...

If you would feel so obliged, could you please enter my bed? Thank you.

Love of my life, don't leave me...

Remember I told you about my obsessive personality? Well, Fable 2 is the latest fad in a long line of faddy fads (which sounds so inappropriate and probably better in my head). However, there is one character that has a special place in my heart. Therefore, if my Hero could write a blog account about the love of his life, this is probably what it'd look like...

'Satyrday, first of Oktober, in the year of our lord 2011,

The following account deals with my absolute love and adoration for my beautiful wife, Natalie the Traveller and our son, Tobias.

The road to love was a difficult one for me, having lost my sister at a younger age, falling out of a castle and being brought up by a psycho gypsy woman with no eyes. Although Natalie is my first and only true love, there are many who idealise me and often stalk me, even into my own house. Their names are Hannah the Barmaid and Burt the Househusband, the latter of which terrifies me. My hatred of the poor fellow has taken on such a complex, that I dreamed about making him follow me to the docks and with my own sword, slaughtering him at sundown only for Hannah to see it and inform the authorities. Although, the most crushing thing was for my wife to tell me to not to look at her. I felt disgusted. So however strong my feelings of distaste for Burt are, for now, the sword will stay in my sheath (both literally and metaphorically).

However, Natalie was not my first suitor. Whilst I was travelling through Oakfield on my way to the Temple of Light, I met a lovely woman who charmed me so much, I instantly bought a house and spent the night with her. However, I realised in the morning that she was not the one for me, mainly due to the fact that she had a face not unlike a woman I once knew whose cow had sat on her face. With that I went on my journey to the Temple of Light, where the trails of my adventure eventually lead me back to Bowerstone.

Even after this, I had still not discovered Natalie and instead was wooing the local beauty, 'Beryl the Housewife'. We got on excellently, her male sense of humour and love of gambling provided a very common talking point. However, it was only after I suggested intimacy that she repelled my feelings, saying she preferred the fairer sex (or the minge). Alas, I slid into a deep depression that lasted all of two minutes, until I saw Natalie. Her brown hair, concious style and voice captivated me. As I showed her Thag's head, she was not repulsed but rather compelled and this was enough to propose marriage to her, which she gladly accepted. I bought a house in Bowerstone Town Square, where we set up home and within five minutes, had brought a baby son into the world, Tobias.

Life was perfect and idyllic and the invention of the condom provided much happiness in our lives. However, the weight of my mission began to take its toll and before long, I was spending longer and longer away from home, although my heart was always with Natalie and the little one. It was at that point that I was imprisoned in The Spire. Despite all the suffering and the draining of our will constantly, the one thing that kept me going was her. So it was a shock when I arrived home ten, long years later to see my son, all grown up but mute and paralysed, paralysed in the same spot his cradle had been, grief stricken by his father's disappearance. Then Natalie, well, I have not seen her since I came back, the locals won't say much but I fairly sure that she has passed away. Oh woe is me. However shall I find love again when the only woman I ever loved was Natalie?

Review of 'Church on the Hill'

'Church on the Hill', even the name suggests an air of elegance and good intentions, almost as if nothing could be wrong with it. With a name like this, you would be expecting heavenly food and drink, angelic and kind staff and sweet Jesus, good value for money as well, naturally.

Looks Idyllic, doesn't it?

HOWEVER, don't let this establishment put you under any false pretences. The place has in place an undercurrent of criminal activities, including and not restricted to

Property Damage, Vandalism, Underage Drinking, Breach of the peace and moany bar bitches in general. Upon entering the establishment, the false facade of paradise was washed away by the barwoman's surly face who served us drinks in tiny glasses. Not to let this deter us, we sat and enjoyed a lovely meal, however we turned around to see the wind had blown glasses off the picnic table and the scene now resembled a typical saturday night at an East Kilbride bus stop. Absolutely shocking. So, as a good customer, I went into the bar to notify someone, this someone being a person who couldn't give less of a shit even if he tried. An hour and a half and a half hearted attempt at cleaning it up later, the ground was still not safe, so it is no surprise why there was a four year old drinking beer. And let's not forget to mention the resident junkie who asked us for 80p and smelled like piss.

Don't be fooled by the church on the hill, the place is rife with drug mules too, disguised as tender grandmothers. Pfft!

Palava, Pavlova, Parabola...

So what does a nightmare situation, a fancy dessert and a mathematical 'conic section' (thank you Wikipedia) have in common apart from sounding the exact same? Well, erm, nothing...

I will cover yesterday though before I launch into my melodramatic ramblings and 'fuck my life' related comments of the day. After university, I got a 66 (for the second time of my life) and met Devon and her college friend, Kayleigh for a drink and a spot of lunch. What started out all pleasant and delightful devolved into all sorts of debauchery and criminal activity including an interrogation with classic questions such as 'Pat Butcher: Shag or die?'. Needless to say, we all chose shag...

Pat's face when she found out our choices...

However, despite the broken glass littering the restaurant, the four year old drinking beer, defacing the picnic benches and a junkie asking us for 80p, it was a brilliant wee afternoon and the best laugh I've had in ages, possibly made nicer with the sun shining. Also, a discovery was made which involved Red Square being one of the tastiest vodkas ever.

Although the good days cannot last and today has not been an overly brilliant 'day'. I woke up in what can only be described as a foul mood which pretty much set up the mood for the rest of the day.

FIRST BAD THING - Tights. Motherfucker Mofo Tights that are too big and won't stay up. Cue uncomfortable Amy for a whole day. Never wearing them again, ever!

SECOND BAD THING - Strathclyde have fucked up my timetable and I'm now in every second Friday, 9am - 11am which wouldn't be such a bad thing, had it been a decent time.

THIRD BAD THING - I need industrial uber he-man strength eczema cream for my arms and the next available appointment in the 14th October, which I probably won't be able to make now because of the tutorial fuck up. I will probably have scratched my arms off by this point and will be armless therefore incapable of doing everything.

So they were the bad points of my day. The one good thing was my induction at the gym. In fact, I'd go as far as excellent personally. It was such a buzz and the woman who showed us around was lovely! All for what, £20 a month? Offt aye! So I'm going back tomorrow, including a wee sauna sesh, LOVING IT.

Back to 'yooni'...

I like the word 'Yooni' currently. Fraser used it in a comment and it has a a certain charm that 'uni' just lacks. Therefore, I think I will make more use of it...

Anyway, today was the first day back at 'Yooni' after a six-month summer (a summer filled with nothingness except a week away and working). So, although it is nice to have a lie in EVERYDAY, it's good to be back and to be using my brain again (which you know, is essential in a human being's life). However, I do not think I will ever get used to the early starts, so my full attendance record I've set already may yet be ruined (I know it's day one but I deserve a medal for going in seeing as I rather neglected lectures last year...)

I got the ten past eight bus to be in for ten and arrived at half nine. I hate being late but I also dislike being too early for things too. Also, the fact that I am a friendless bastard in my course does not help the passage of time (and it's not like I haven't tried). So, sniffling and head drooped, I walked to the lecture room and sat down BY MYSELF. Oh woe is me. At least I didn't fall asleep during this lecture and the lecturer's name is Dr Aliakbar Jafari, which combined gives me the image of Jafar from 'Aladdin' and Admiral Ackbar from 'Star Wars'.

Creepy, enjoy the image of an arabian lobster lecturing on Consumer behaviour...

It finished early which meant another hour and a half of waiting around so I did a very studenty thing and went to the library and wrote up my student planner (which I give two weeks before I forget all about it and lament on what a waste of money it was). The next lecture was management and luckily, Rachel from entrepreneurship last year stroke up a conversation with me and I got to sit next to someone in a lecture (that's how sad my life is).

I was meeting up with Mark for lunch, making the poor boy come down all the way from Caley for me, his wee nigel friend and we sat and had a Greggs (I know I wasn't supposed to go back but I had no pastry!) Also, I bought books from Fraser, which saved me a right few bob (Thank you Fraser!)

Finally, I had international business analysis and I have to say, I nearly fell asleep and did the whole 'my-head-is-falling-forward,-wakes-up-and-snaps-back-up' manoeuvre which does not bode well for the rest of the year... However, none of my lectures lasted long so I got away pretty early and on my way home I picked up a Gym Membership form. I am officially half way to gymness, God knows it will do me good!

Additional point of interest: Thermal mugs so I can have tea on the bus in the morning was a great invention. I want to love the person who thought of it, it saved me today.

You couldn't even look me in the eyes so I'll dim the lights

Currently, my iTunes has 5946 items, which, iTunes kindly calculated for me would take sixteen and a half days to listen to in full. That, my dear friends, is a lot of music.

Unfortunately, heavenly DJ (not Father, it's music duh!) I have a confession to make. I have probably listened to about fifty percent of that. The rest of it is mainly made up of the regular album fluff that no one listens to (because I can't bear to not download a full album). Now obviously, there are some major disadvantages to this. One of them being someone listening to your iPod and exclaiming 'Wow, I never knew you liked that song' and you have to obligatory lie to their faces because in actual fact, you have no idea what they are on about.

However, the one advantage is that sometimes, a song comes randomly on shuffle and you have never heard it before but you love it and it becomes your new favourite song. This is how my relationship with the song 'Encoder' by Pendulum happened about, oh an hour ago! We have a very special relationship, so special that I have constantly repeated it.

You have got to love life sometimes.

There's a first time for everything...

Firstly, I would like to congratulate my blogging interface for reaching it's FIRST BIRTHDAY! I started blogging at 23.24 on the 22nd September 2010... and my, what a year it has been! It is fair to say that such a lot has happened since I took those first, tiny formative steps onto a voyage of typing a lot of shit up and talking a load of crap too that one year ago. It feels kinda weird that I still use this too although I can't say I have been successful in maintaining this blog, I've been a bit greedy and taken a lot of holidays away from blogging (naughty me).

However, with second year at university literally just round the corner, hopefully, exciting bloggable things will happen in my life (or not, y'know?). I mean, the stuff that has happened this week would keep my blog going for a good while, such as purchasing a sombrero and ingesting approximately seventy units of alcohol in one night (probably not advisable) but then again, some things in life are better left as mysteries (unless you're Scooby Doo and the gang, you have the mystery machine for that).

So, the point of this blog was to express that life functions better whilst under the influence of a sombrero. Confused? Nowhere near as much as I am.

Look at dat epic mo'

I'll show you my dirty little secret...

'So, 'Paper Bags and Plastic Hearts'? We meet again. It's been a long time since I was in town but I am now back, back for good and once more I shall rule this town, Mwahaha...'

And so on and so forth. So yeah, maybe my mexican stand off was a bit 'over dramatic' but it's been a while so let me settle back in, okay? (Good.)

It has been a while, I am fully aware of this. And this poor little blog probably feels about as neglected as a... neglected person? For that, I am truly sorry. BUT HAVE NO FEAR, For I start back at university two weeks tomorrow and therefore, I will have new material to spout on the internet about my second year of shenanigans at Strathclyde (which is what a lot of my material last year was based on, let's be honest).

So what's new with me? I mean, surely something incredibly life-changing must have happened to me to excuse the fact that it has been so long since my last post. However, sadly apart from an unhealthy obsession with Cityville on Facebook (which takes up all my time), a new role within Sainsburys and a brand new pair of black vans, nothing is new with me, absolutely nothing whatsoever. Not to say that I haven't done anything though. I've been to a few parties, a few nights out and all manner of things (including introducing my father to Yo Sushi! which was an experience...)

Hopefully, I'll get my full blogging abilities back once I have caught up on sleep, which I seem to be in lacking very much these days. Is this the development of a sleeping pattern? Only time shall tell but until tomorrow, I bid thee readers a fond farewell!

Welcome to your new life.

This is Nero. Nero are a band. A band that has become my new obsession. Some people say their music would be better without vocals but I say fuck up to those people, the vocals is what makes them awesome.

Also, the blond one is really hot (the blond male, let's make that perfectly clear), which is a big mega super plus and in their video for 'Guilt', the poledancer is quite frankly amazing (and no, that does not make me a lesbian, just appreciative of poledancers and their skill in general).

One on the left, YES.

I just love their image, their concept, their music, their lyrics...

JUST. LOVE.

Also, first blog in ages! Let's hope this is the start again!

World War Z

I am genuinely knackered but alas, I am back from my exotic holiday away, a holiday in the wonderful tropical destination that was Ellyn's house (which is around about a three - minute drive from my very own abode, very handy distance you see!). The accommodation was very pleasant, as was the food (the twelve chocolate doughnuts were a massive hit with the group as was the milkybar buttons, which has Jill temporarily mesmerised). Additionally, I won Harry Potter Scene It! for the first time in ages and I won in a very dignified and blase manner (nope, I did not get competitive at all, not one little bit, I didn't snap at Devon when I thought she was moving her piece when I won the points...) I'm totally convincing right? The only bad thing was the fact that I had to temporarily 'fly back home' for work and driving lessons but apart from that, who can complain? A week away from it all, even if it was just down the road did me good! Plus spending time with Ellyn is good seeing as she is AWOL for most of the year in Bangor (insert appropriate sadface here).

On Friday, I went into town with Mark to see if we could catch a glimpse of Mr Pitt and co. shooting a scene for the upcoming zombie epic, 'World War Z' based on the book by Maz Brooks. We got the 11.30 train in from 'Hairy' and sneered at the selfish people who had stolen a table all by themselves and also managing to be the only two people on the train to evade the ticket inspector, hence free train! We then headed straight for George Square which was just mobbed, mobbed because there really is no other way to describe it correctly. Half of the mob in question were waiting to see if anything happened on the set whilst the other half were actually trying to get somewhere (albeit getting somewhere whilst running over my feet with their prams). It was quite surreal to see something you are very familiar with covered in American props such as traffic signs, police cars and ambulances.

Whilst we were walking through the middle of George Sqaure a man who looked like Mr Pitt caught my eye being chaperoned by two security guards and my stomach leapt. However, it turned out not to be him but his stunt double instead (I only found this out tonight when I was reading the paper and an article about him was published). So although I didn't see the real Brad, I am quite happy with what I saw! We then went over to the counting house for a spot of lunch, where I stealthly picked up colouring pencils and a colouring book (which was clearly intended for me, not five year olds, Mark won tic tac toe though, so I was disappointed in myself). Once we had finished our BBQ Chicken and bacon Paninis (because we got the exact same thing), Mark wanted to buy a new suit so we went to Slaters (a shop which I adore) and went for the sole purpose of browsing. In ten minutes, we were out of the shop and Mark was holding a receipt for a new suit. It was like magic...

Mark's wee doodle...

We then went for a wander in St Enochs and like all lost souls wandering about aimlessly in the St Enochs, we ended up in Hamleys and in particular, the jukebox. At first, I was sensible and played some Gaga for the young squires but when Mark chose YMCA/In the Navy by 'Black Lace' (...) and the man in the uniform at the front started dancing the YMCA, we thought that it was only necessary to put it on for a second time so the man could practice his dancemoves (He did half of it wrong to be fair, I wasn't impressed). We then wandered around where an electric shock game caught our eyes and naturally, because we are awesome and use things without reading the instructions, poor Mark (poor being used rather loosely) yelped and got an electric shock, claiming it was 'not pleasant and that he didn't want to put me through that'. D'awww!

We finally managed to tear ourselves from Hamleys and head back up to Buchanan Street for tea and coffee. We stopped to look at one of the Statue men (I'm not sure what you would name a profession like that) and he was allowing all these pigeons to sit on him. I was not amused (Ornithpodophobic anyone?). Behind us, we heard an accordion strike up and Mark's face lit up as it was the wee old woman that he is intending  to 'Adopt' and his plan is for her to perform for guests in our flat and then when I enquired as to where we would keep her, he answered 'The Closet'.Not soon after this she finished her song and left, I wonder why...

Mark's adoptive daughter

We then went into a cafe and enjoyed a nice tea and coffee whilst coming up with the idea to find a coffee shop to act as our regular coffee shop whilst we are both at university together (which I am kind of buzzing for). We investigated numerous potential clientele and I made notes on my blackberry before we finally chose 'The Rouge' in Merchant City as a definite potential choice due to its central location and perfect decor. I love my life sometimes!

A complaint...

Why is actually so much hassle for me to join the gym? (Or the 'Gyme', how that made me laugh Michael and Alistair). I have to go into university, get some random person who does not know me from Adam to sign my application form to receive a student card which I will probably have to wait for to then apply for the actual gym membership with the said student card to get half price membership. You would think the council would try to make it as easy as possible to try and get the public healthy but as with everything else in government, everything is sorted by a form.

On a lighter note though, it is pay day today, even though I will only have about half of it left after I pay all my bills and driving lessons. I hate that part of being an adult. When I was ten, a ten pound note would have kept me going for about a month but it seems that ten pound notes are about as worthless as pennies nowadays. However, it is the last month before I get my loan back so happy times are abound! It is true that you do get used to having a set amount of money a month and hopefully, this means that I will be able to use my money more wisely in the next few months (I've got to save for going abroad, moving out and holidays, it is not good). My plan is to save around three thousand pounds by next year but knowing me, that will not happen ('Hey, Big Spender'!).

"Ayooooo, I'm tired of using 'Crap' technology..."

I love technology, I do, I do, I do. Which is why it saddens me that the technology I own are being shite guys! There is nothing more infuriating than something not working right and believe me, the temptation to throw the whole lot of it out and become amist is surprisingly strong.

Firstly, my six month - old phone has not been the same since I downloaded the new Facebook app. It keeps freezing and being generally a snail. Blackberry better sort that one out soon because it is literally doing my head in and I know other people have been complaining about it.

Secondly, my iPod, which broke a few months ago. I can get it repaired but it is still annoying.

Thirdly, my laptop. Oh, out of the serious crimes my technology has done to me lately, the laptop is definitely the most grievous criminal out of them all. The battery now lasts half an hour at the most and it conveniently forgets to let you know it is about to hibernate hence, rage. Last night, the mouse refused to click on things which led me to bash about on it (the only time ever that bashing has worked for me) and now the wi-fi is so slow due to my sister getting a notebook that I just want to cry!

Oh and the worse thing? My arrow pad is not working on the neopet site and therefore, I can't play games to earn neopoints. The world is a cruel cruel place...