Just like the white-winged Dove sings a song...

Argh, I feel like I'm in a cage right now.

However, it is probably the best place for me to be right now because I am in a right filthy mood and some poor sod will get the brunt of my annoyance if I'm let out.

Eurgh, I can't even type what I want to say, hopefully my mood will have improved by tonight.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is knowing not to put one in a fruit salad...

Mmm, always good having four hours sleep, with a requirement of you being up at 6am! I actually screamed 'Noooooooooooooooooo' when my alarm went off, so I turned over and went back to sleep! Then, when I next woke up, I had a spaz attack because the thought that I'd overslept crossed my mind fleetingly! But not to panic, it was 6.15am so I got up, before I could cheat sleep again! I then got up and had the usual argument with mother. I felt immediately bad though and apologised through the medium of text!

I got on the bus, picked up a metro (Yay!) and then sat down. I got to page 2 when I was interrupted albeit nicely, by Robyn and we had a great wee chat on the way to our respective universities! I made it to Greggs, where I bought a bottle of water (and I seriously had to make sure I didn't chuck the bottle away today) and a sausage roll as my stomach was crying! I went into the Hospitality and Tourism Management lecture which was incredibly pointless as it was another introduction! Then, with half an hour to spare, I decided to tackle the hill at a leisurely pace. Like fuck that worked! I made it up half way and I'm panting like a rottweiler! So I pull over and who should I see in person, but Fraser! Had quite a brief chat but nice to actually finally meet him! I then made it up the stairs, with my lungs still intact.

This was not an opportunity to have a breather...

I met up with Sarah and we made it to the back to attend the HR management lecture which I can't deny I slept through (the red rooster did not help at all). Then we woke up to the sound of Dr Harker wizzing through the Marketing lecture! It was a real hoot although definitely looking up those notes again! Then, finally, I survived the management lecture as well. Not least because we were shown a hilarious sketch from 'The Office' and some Johnathan Ross (which in my book, is always a good thing!) I then went to the library, a place that I can actually see myself living (especially since I discovered a cafe downstairs) and I booked my last tutorial so I now can officially confirm I have wednesdays off of University, Yay!

I finally headed down to the bus station, when the overwhelming urge to use a bathroom became immediately apparent. I rushed to the toliet, discovering I had only 2 10p's on me but not to worry, I had some in my jacket pocket which was in my bag. After all that faffin' aboot, I finally made it to the machine, paid my money and entered. Only, to my horror, I had entered the Men's bathroom. I ran out, 30p less off and still dying for the toliet. I had to exchange the six measly 5p's I had in my purse for 10p's and I finally made into the (correct) toliet. I then got on a bus (which had the stairs in the middle because that's normal) and here I am now, recounting the marvellous tales of my day! Work soon and insanely enough, I'm going to ask for more overtime! Ciao!

Don't touch me, You'll get slut on you...

That is the above quote of the week, I will probably never get over it and will use it at every oppurtunity! The other one, is unrepeatable because when I remembered it, I hid under my duvet in shame ( like that's gonna cover the humilation...) I hope no-one else remembers!

Eurgh, I have slut on me now...

Also, I forgot to mention that I went to the Fresher's Fair in Glasgow! Yes, I waited in the pouring rain for half an hour. Yes, I had to buy two Scottish Suns (which broke my heart, disgusting paper it is) but the freebies is just on a different scale in all honesty (though nothing beats my colander)! I'm proud of the fact that I helped Dominoes get to their record of giving out 15,000 slices of pizza for free because y'know, I'm all on hand to help a good cause if you know what I'm saying!

Mmmm, soaking...

To be announced...

Hmm, the weekend was actually boring! However, there were some brief flickers of enjoyment!

Saturday morning (ish), Jane came and picked me, Madiha and Lauren up and drove us to the Town Centre to enjoy some of Starbuck's products! However, poor Jane's car decided not to co-operate and parked itself at a funny angle (See how I'm making it the car's fault Jane?). After ten minutes of trying to coax the car from it's diagonal angle (like Connect 4), we approached a nice lady, who managed to tell the car off and let Jane park it properly! Thank you kind lady!

We left the car in it's naughty space and met up with Madiha and Lauren (who were inside waiting) and proceeded to march to Starbucks. I got a 'Venti' (which means 'twenty' in italian:) Signature Hot Chocolate  and a caramel shortcake because I'm cool! Then we munched, schlurped and gossiped for about an hour and a half before Jane kindly dropped us all home and popped in for a wee look at her furry niece, Millie! (Thankfully, the car had learned it's lesson and behaved all the way home)!

My Cat should model for Whiskas, just saying...

Then I went off to the Ginger Store that is Sainsburys (Or J Sainsburys PLC for all you business minds out there) and earned my £24.28! I actually can't remember much of it, so it must have been quite forgettable! Then I went to Abby's party afterwards and came home (Not much happened apart from downing a drink and facebooking people very drunkenly for three hours). Although, I am never getting Cocktail in a Bottle ever again, it was so strong!

What. A. Photo.

I woke up on Sunday, where regrets came flooding into my brain, both from the other night and for agreeing to work overtime. I arrived at Sainsburys at 2pm and I finally started working at 2.30pm after a cat and mouse game trying to find the manager! After that, it was sheer banter! I spoke to new people and generally had a laugh! Then with Nicole and Rebecca, we had a good wee gossip session then discussed with Darren who was going in X Factor! All in all, a good wee shift but we all decided we missed Robbie!

Today was rather uneventful. That sort of sums up the last few days (sorry followers, nothing exciting and exhillirating happened this week, yeah...). I got up at about 8am and because I am a lazy shite, I decided to use the good old wash-fringe method and pull on my leavers hoody. I left the house at 9.10am and ran to the bus stop which was pointless because I had five minutes to spare when I got there. When I got on the bus, ashamedly, I was horrifed that there wasn't a metro for my sponge of a brain to absorb meaningless crap. Very bad times. I got in for about half ten and waited outside 'The McCance Building' (Seriously, that building's name has been forever imprinted in my brain because of the Unismart Lecture). I then met up with Sarah and we headed into Entrepreneurship.

Actually quite sunny today, for once...

Would you like the good news or the bad news first? Okay, Good news it is! I didn't fall asleep in the lecture, not once! I'm extremely proud of that fact and I never used anything to keep me awake either! The Bad news is that I have an assignment already for next Monday and I'm not sure if I'm going to do it well enough which upsets me! Ach well, I'll get through it somehow, as long as I keep to my promise that I won't leave everything till the last minute!

Two things to finish with today:

• I have a pole-dancing Cat

• I have a permanent craving for Fajitas, it just flares up at specific moments!

Life is good, sometimes...

If a man ever asks me to make him a sandwich, I will because my sandwiches are immense...

How to make the perfect 'Cheese Savoury':

You will need to go on an epic quest in your local supermarket to find these ingredients -

Nice, thick, Crunchy Bread or Baguette
Cheddar Cheese (or if you are feeling adventurous, try two different types)
Mayonnaise
Salad Cream
Lettuce
Red Onion


You will also need a kitchen or hygenic worktop to prepare on.

Grate the cheese(s) into a bowl and add equal amounts of mayonnaise and salad cream and stir until the consistency is stiff, not runny. Chop about a 6th of a red onion finely and a few leaves of a lettuce and then add to the mix. You may add other vegetables as you see fit. Then evenly spread out on to your bread and then ENJOY IT AND DON'T LEAVE A SINGLE CRUMB BEHIND!

Or, if you can't be arsed, go and buy one out of Greggs but warning: Mine's is so much better!

Or watched by the ones that held your stare?

Why do stalkers follow me around all the time? It's getting on my nerves!

I shall explain it in a very simple equation:

Amy on bus + Creepy nigerian man who asks too many questions and wants my phone number = Freaked out Amy - (Fake email Address + Fake Call x 30 minutes) = Still freaked out but feeling slightly better

Following me?

Seriously, I don't mind little old grannies talking to me or anyone for that matter (but grannies are so gentle and smiley and cuddly, much like a tea cosy...) but a man who wants to know everything about me within two minutes of meeting is not the way to go around 'making some friends' (that was his excuse). I can't describe the relief when he got off the bus after only fifteen minutes but it was genuinely terrifying. I'm not going to lie, I have very little 'street-cred' but I am 'street-wise' and at least I have an ounce of common sense to deal with these things. Whereas, some poor wee mite might be inclined to believe someone's good intentions (he seemed like a very nice young man).

So please, you all already know this but be so careful when strange people start talking to you. Ashamedly, I have thought of nothing all day apart from this which is shit!

That is all.

'Hello, I'm Yer Maw Tbh'...

The above quotation was taken from the University of Strathclyde... On the back of a toliet door. It's quite amazing how university - level students can still resort to humorous language such as that although I can't lie, it did make my day slightly! I would like to make a point about the one thing about the union. I do not like and that is the ATM outside. I'm all for equality and providing services to everyone but only an  'Oompa Loompa' would be able to extract cash! If I use it, I will have permanent back problems for life! Therefore, it is a midget ATM! (Maybe feisty Ellyn could use this...)

It's been an interesting week. Tuesday started with a lovely 9am Economics lecture. Even though I decided not to take it, I deeply considered it, mainly because the lecturer had a nice irish accent which reminded me of Dougal out of 'Father Ted'. It was very soothing! After another lecture, and a trek up that god-awful hill, Sarah, my lovely irish friend, invited me back to her lovely flat and I met some of her lovely flatmates whilst enjoying a lovely cheese savoury sub from Gregg's. All in all, as you have gathered, it was quite lovely! I had other lectures during the day as well and was thoroughly impressed with Hospitality and Tourism Management in particular. After university, I grabbed a train to work and enjoyed a meal in McDonalds beforehand. Needless to say, I was absolutely knackered towards the end of the day.

I would zoom in, then you may enjoy it...

Wednesday brought another relentless early start and the heaviest rain I have ever seen since last year's Strathclyde (coincidentally) open day. I'm ashamed to admit that I slept during two lectures and at one point I startled myself awake and the people surrounding me chuckled. My bad. Thankfully, Sarah kept me awake towards the end, with a friendly slap on the shoulder! Afterwards, I headed to the library to discuss the commonwealth project with Sonya (although it turned into a Facebook session which is conviently not filtered in the university computers!) and then attended the first EnviroSoc meeting, which was very insightful. Plus, I met a nice young chap from Skye and we must have talked for about half an hour, it was great! Also, I have put my name forward to be the group's social convenor. I really dispise my quick-thinking process that decides to put myself forward for these things when I can't talk about why I'm good for the job because I'm in no way experienced in this line of work but what the heck, I'll go for it anyway, What's the worst that could happen? (Well, apart from a nurse broadcasting to the whole school via radio about your sore finger, which people perceive to be your penis instead! If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, this might jog your short-term memory - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnG3ZQ3EBKc ). I also attended AINSEC that evening as well, which could be very beneficial to my degree, so watch this space!

Thursday went better than expected. Bus was late though, so I was late meeting up with the team (Sorry guys!) but we sorted things out and eventually made it to the commonwealth presentation. I had the sixth sense in that, I guessed that virtually no-one in my team would present the poster so yet again (thanks quick-thinking process, again...) I volunteered with Phil and we balanced the whole thing out whilst the others acted as 'Creative Directors' and made the poster. We were the first ones to go up to my dismay but as I did and then sat down again, I felt like I actually made a really good bash at it! I didn't mess my words up, or develop that annoying stutter that only pops up when I'm nervous so I was pretty pleased! The manager, from Proctor and Gamble stated that is was 'outstanding' and 'the best from all the classes she had seen so far'! I don't mean to sound up myself, or that I am blowing my own trumpet but even the manager said that in Scotland, we have an attitude of not giving recognition to our strengths and instead, emphasise our weaknesses. Personally, although I am a massive culprit of this attitude, I know there are things I am good at but I am too worried about people thinking I'm so far up my own arse, my head is in my stomach! I got some criticism too. I struggle with criticism, I can't lie but I took it constructively and held my head high! After that, I went to the library to kill three hours and completed my individual assignment (which I had to bullshit my way to 250 words, it was quite difficult) then had another epic facebook session! Finally, I headed to the debating meeting where I enjoyed a glass (or plastic tumbler) of wine and a bottle of apple wkd (or poof juice)! The debate itself was hilarious and I absolutely loved it! I cannot wait to go back next week!

Anyway, that's enough for now, I've probably screen-burned lines upon lines of writing into your eyes permanently!

That good enough, Ellyn?