Strut, Strut, Come on, Walk for me!

I saw Fraser's first vlog today and despite his nervousness, it was really good! However, it has pretty much burst any bubble dreams of doing my own, mainly because I exhibit a cool, calm exterior on this (well, I hope I do anyway) that would be ruined by a shaking, stuttering idiot on a webcam (Which would happen, believe me).

Here is the link to Fraser's vlog anyway - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRr6_SvADRY&feature=feedlik

Feelings can be a bit of bastard. Sorry to be frank but they can. No matter how sternly you tell yourself that you don't feel a certain way, something in you always yields and you feel like you are back to square one again. I get angry with myself because of this which in turn annoys me so I just become a really annoyed and irritable person and it is not fair on anyone, which is how I've been feeling the past few days. Plus, I cannot wait for this week to be over, it all seems like work, work, work (although Duran Duran is on Thursday which provides some light).

I also have the strongest urge to destroy and obliterate my liver, I have not been out in weeks and I'm starting to go through withdrawal (I'm also going through sushi withdrawal and the lack of money makes me sad as well). However, pay day is on Friday with my minuscule bonus of forty pounds should make the metaphorical sun shine. 

I also am in desperate need of sleeping pattern. I literally woke up at quarter to three today. QUARTER TO THREE. Usually I wake up at eleven and just turn over and doze but quarter to three is some sort of ridiculous joke. Even I was disgusted with myself.

I JUST NEED TO SORT MY LIFE OUT. Yeah, haha. That outburst was totally on its way. Alas, it is true. I do need to sort my life out, it's just unfortunate I am lazy by nature. I envy all these go-getters out there, I wish I was like that.

My life will get sorted, it's just a question of when.


I'M DONE BEING SAD NOW! You'll all be glad to know. So, Adam Lambert blaring through my ears (He's a babe) and cloudy lemonade on tap, I intend to enjoy my night.

Hot Picks for Eurovision 2011

Following on from my last blog, here is who I think has a possibility of winning this year.

1. Estonia

2. Russia (obviously...)

3. Sweden

4. Germany (because Lena could do it again.)

5. UK

Final point: Moldova could have won this year, had they chose this song. Last year, they had the epic sax guy, and it worked (had it not been for Lena). This year, they could of had the epic panpipes guy but they went for a band full of a bunch of garden gnomes instead. Poor show Moldova.

Wer gewinnt das Finale 2011?

You all knew a blog about Eurovision was coming, didn't you? (If you didn't, you know where that metaphorical door is).

I am a sad person, it's true. I am patriotic and I love any excuse for a good party. Which is half of the reason of why I love Eurovision so much. The other half is simply because I love it, pure and simple (but not the Hearsay song though, although I was listening to that the other day... TANGENT).

Okay, so back to the campest event of the calender. Is it the atrocious singing, the wacky costumes, the weird accents, the token saxophone player (or ice skater), the glitter or is it a mix of everything? The latter, of course. I guess another reason why I celebrate it so much is that I found a fellow Eurovision loyalist in Lauren, which always helps!

Eurovision is also an occasion to drink copious amounts of vodka

This will be our third Eurovision spent together and in all honesty, it has become almost a national holiday or anniversary of our friendship for us, so Eurovision must always be celebrated together, and this is how we do it (with style and grace, of course).

1. Choose a country to support (Not the UK) and make a T-shirt

We always watch the Semi - Finals or listen to the CD, always gets us in the mood. You pick your favourite song and then you adorn a basics Primark T-shirt with language, flags and colours of that country. Usually we use pens and last year we upgraded to glitter pens but this year, we're going to give paint a bash (I know people, hold onto your hats). A plus from this is you get high from the pen fumes so it is really a win-win situation.

Shirt from 2009, Finland came last that year but we won't talk about that...

2. Whip your scorecards out

Last year, I printed off scorecards and I will be doing the same this year. I mean, they do get abandoned halfway through due to being drunk or dancing (or both) but the sentiment is still there, with the added 'Hot' Column of course (I don't know who was judged the hottest last year but I'm pretty sure Lauren gave Milan Stankovic a ten)...

This is Mr Stankovic... (It's sad that I actually remember names as well)

3. Drink, drink till you die (or roll about the living room floor, one of the two)

You must drink alcohol at Eurovision. It is just tradition (and for the boys in our group, makes the experience far more pleasurable). This year, in support of my sexy russian, I am drinking a large bottle of vodka. I hope to be gone by half eight. You also dance when your country comes on and I guess when Blue comes on, we all must dance. That is just the rules (there are rules, Lauren and me devised them but that's another blog.

The fact that he is probably gay upsets me greatly.

And that's Eurovision in a nutshell. Any excuse for a party right? So at 8pm tomorrow night, unless you're being 'cool' and actually going out, get BBC 1 on, listen to Graham Norton's wonderful commentary and just enjoy the worst karaoke competition in the world (no-one disses my sexy russian though, okay?)


Finally, a shout - out to Fraser Shaw, just because he asked for one.

Maybe tonight we could forget about it all... This could be just like Heaven.

Today has been a weird sort of day. With the amount of bad news I've heard (Trial postponement (which is good and bad) and Hanna being back in hospital), you would be inclined to think I was having a pretty bad day but, and I feel bad for saying this, I actually had a good day. I guess nothing surprises me anymore and I have learned that no matter how much time I waste crying over spilled milk, there is nothing I can do to make things better, therefore I don't waste time lingering in sadness (I've done way too much of that this past year).

Yet, something as trivial as 30 Seconds to Mars breaking up has quite literally driven me to tears (rather pathetically). But then again it isn't pathetic or trivial. I have followed this band for six years now with nothing but utter devotion, of course I'm going to feel terrible. They have gotten me through the best of times and the worst of times. I owe them loads of things. Lauren and me bonded over them and that's a friendship I wouldn't give up for anything. So yeah, I don't care what anyone else thinks, I am going to cry over them and listen to them incessantly and maybe wear black for a few days of mourning...

Anyway, please get well soon Hanna. I hate how you have to go through this and I can't be there for you and be supportive. I love and miss you so so much.

"Provehito in Altum" 

I have a public announcement to make...

Before Greg forever blackmails me for eternity (see the emphasis on how he will blackmail me to the end of time?), I would like to make an announcement.

I once stated that The Hoosiers were the worst band in the world and that they were (and still are to be fair) the forerunners of the apocalypse. However, a song called 'Giddy Up' has been brought to my attention and it is not half bad, hence I can officially state I like a Hoosiers song (unfortunately, 'sniffles').

If anyone would like the opportunity to shoot me for liking such a disgusting band, then feel free to do so, as long as it's in the metaphorical sense only.

Thank you for your support on what has been a difficult time for me.

Forget Worrying about Ray, I'm worried about my sanity.

Deja Vu of my personal Hell... One year on

I may be chastised for this blog but I do not care, this is my blog, my space (well not, 'myspace') and I feel I need to do this.

It has been a year today since it all happened. It seems so much longer in some respects because so much has happened in between. I can not emphasise enough how much my world collapsed a year ago and watching the election coverage brings back the awful memories of sobbing on the couch with my Mum. It was honestly just the worst feeling ever and I hope I never have to feel like that again. I would not even wish it on my own worse enemy.

I can't believe I left school a year ago. Not that my last day there was one to cherish, more like one to forget. Especially that shriek of grief when we were told. I will never ever forget that noise, I feel physically sick just thinking about it.

Some of the worse memories of my life were a year ago and yet I have changed so much and in all honesty, it made me stronger. It made our group of friends stronger, it made us realise what was important in our lives. Well, some of us anyway, it ruined some lives temporarily too. I can also say that the situation changed my moral stance in every way, something I did not think could change but in some respects, I am glad they have changed. You just can't judge a book by its cover, a lesson I think everyone should take from this, in all aspects of it.

I guess the purpose of this blog is to mark the anniversary of when our lives changed for the worse. If it hadn't of happened, things could have been so different but things happen for a reason and personally, the path my life took afterwards, getting into university etc. well I wouldn't change that so at least something good came out of it. However, if I could go back, I'd change it in a heartbeat and stop all the pain and hurt this causes people to this day.

I want to say 'Good Luck' to everyone, this day is going to be hard but as long as we keep what we've been doing, we will get through this.

What ever happened to the university lifestyle?

Yesterday, I got the news that I have achieved exemption in all my subjects and therefore, have no exams to do, the first time in about four years!

Whereas before, I did nothing anyway but there was always the possibility of actually writing up notes or studying, I now have nothing to do for the next four months. (Drums fingers on the table in boredom).

People say that your university years are the best of your life. However, I can't say first year was in any way life-changing. In fact, it was actually rather boring, which is probably not the best conclusion to come to. If I went into five lectures during the ENTIRE year, then that would be an achievement personally. And the fact that Entrepreneurship was the worst subject I've ever had to study in my whole entire existence. Thank God that is over. I guess if you actually lived on campus and did not have to travel in everyday, the university experience would be a lot better. Ahh well, no use crying over spilt milk (or in my case, a jaegerbomb).

I do have plans over the summer though. I intend to write up all my notes up for the two subjects I'm taking next year, Management and Marketing, to give me a flying start into second year. Whether I get this done or not remains to be seen but who knows, perhaps divine intervention will motivate me?

However, in the summer, I do plan to get drunk, have fun, see my friends, get tanned, go on holiday and just in general, have a good time! A masterplan? I think so!

Good luck to everyone doing exams though, I genuinely do feel for you (but then again, rather you than me!)