I'm going back to the things I learnt so well in my youth

I have a feeling that this will perhaps be quite a short blog, mainly because I had the most unproductive day ever. I mean, do not get me wrong, I had plans. Great, productive plans as a matter of fact. Plans that involved sorting out my music on iTunes, sorting out my jewellery and getting more prepared for my holiday that is in six days time but did any of this happen? And an even better point, did I actually need to ask that rhetorical question? (That question was rhetorical too, by the way, so shoosh).

Instead, my day went like this.I woke up really late, I had a cookie and then I decided to sit and watch Queen documentaries and videos all day. Then I went for a shower that lasted an hour. Yes, I am an absolute freak.

However, I am looking forward to tomorrow (or today, shrugs). My wonderful little brother, Calum has won two awards from school so Mark (who kindly volunteered himself) and myself are going down to the school to cheer him on since 'mutti' cannot get the time off work due to strike action (which Calum got a little upset about unfortunately). Not only are we going to wear our Avondale School Captain badges (as to as Mark put it, to reclaim our titles as Captains back) and see the old school but also take full advantage of free food and drink that we seem to always miss out on when you are pupils at the school! (Also because there is jack shit in my cupboards at home, we may need to stock up).

Then afterwards, we are having an 'Aliens vs. Predators' movie day which I'm sadly excited about, plus I get to see him which is always good.

Now that blog was quite substantial, I am quite proud if I do say so myself!

Was it a good night before you brought it all back up again?

Yesterday was Clare's nineteenth birthday bash in the famous party house and I cannot lie, it was the perfect opportunity to act seventeen again. I had my Janey baby round for a few glasses of wine as our pre-drinks and a nice little catch - up that I enjoyed immensely! Then we managed to stall till about twenty-five past eight in order to give Lauren time to get ready from work (I do think she is Wonderwoman sometimes, with her quick outfit changes and all that jazz).

We arrived at Clares and it was quite strange to see everyone from school again, some of us fitted right back into the old routine and others were a bit awkward to be honest but that is to be expected I guess. It was nice to see some 'fresh' faces too (especially Stephen Golder's). Now, it sounds like it is going quite well doesn't it? Sounds like I was having a nice normal night with my friends. Oh, you would be so wrong...

The fact of the matter is that Peach Schnapps is a bad evil alcohol. It has deceived me for many years, believing it was a gentle alcohol but no, it is not and it has proved my body very wrong. I'm literally gagging as I write this. Unfortunately, there was very little lemonade at Clares and therefore, I thought it would be a good idea to drink Peach Schnapps straight from the bottle. Half an hour later, I'm lying on Clare's mum's bed, the world absolutely spinning and I feel like I'm on the world's worst rollercoaster. I then felt the need (as many a drunk does) to phone up Laura, Devon, Jill, Mark and Fraser and tell them how drunk I am. I also spoke to Michael about Aston Martins and Aston Villa which was obviously an amazing conversation. Now, all I can remember after this is sitting in the lounge, about to 'whitey' and then I remember sitting on the step in the garden, whiteying, whilst everyone watched. GO ME...

Then, Lauren, my ginger saviour saw how miserable I was and asked if I wanted to come in a taxi with her as she wanted to go and see Colin. Oh, how that was the best thing she ever did because as soon as I got home I filled a salad bowl full of whitey and my poor sister couldn't hack the smell of peach flavoured vomit and slept on the sofa. 

So yeah, couldn't really tell you much about last night as I left at twenty past twelve...

Then, this morning I woke up at half eleven and decided to show my face and listen to my antics of the night before. Then my mum made me a bacon baguette and she instantly became awesome mum because that made me feel so much better. Then, I realised I had to agreed to go into work at two because I had resigned myself to the fact that I was a heavyweight and I would never feel the effects of alcohol again. Yeah, that didn't turn out right.

So I was stuck in fresh for seven hours, helping organise the fridges after their mass breakdown and working the cheese that all went out and yoghurts. I then purchased a pasta pot for my break and no-where did it say you had to microwave it however after a third of the way through, I realised it had the microwave instructions at the bottom, so that was a bit of a failure. Finally, I installed McCains Home Fries back into the freezers so that the Hamilton population can enjoy chips again! 

I also got locked in the freezer and I thought there was no point screaming as I will die in the minus twenty three degree cold anyway. Also, I just told my Dad that I have a blog and he rolled his eyes... Sadface.

And now, here is my new amusement...

I know you will appreciate this!

I have no idea why, I liked it?

I thought you'd appreciate the hat...

Just me and the dream boyfriend...

I would poke her face...

Ellyn didn't enjoy the taste of that...

Laura and Taylor, a beautiful couple if ever I saw one

Before I actually blog...

A list of movie nights I have come up with!

1. Aliens Vs. Predators (Including Alien, Aliens, Predator, Predators etc.)

2. Quentin Tarantino (Kill Bill, Kill Bill vol. 2, Reservoir Dogs, Inglorious Basterds etc.)

3. Harry Potter (Self - explanatory)

4. Lord of the Rings (Again, Self - explanatory, will need many munchies though)

5. Comedy Night (Stand-up comedy of course)

6. James Bond (One from each incarnation of Bond)

7. Arnold Schwarzenegger night (because he is one of my favourite actors)

8. Horror night (nothing too scary though)

9. PIXAR DAY!

Yeah, that's all I've come up with so far but that should keep us going Marky!

I genuinely can't express my amusement...

This is a fair representation of how I looked this morning...

Stumble into the kitchen and pour myself a cup of ambition...

I'm a little frustrated to be honest readers. Whilst at work, I had four hours to come up with material for my blog and I did and now I can only remember two points. Gah, my brain is a very temperamental piece of equipment unfortunately but I shall relay as much as I can remember!

1.Journey to see the Iron Maiden?

There is a regular customer who comes into our store. Now, if Steve Perry from Journey and Bruce Dickinson from Iron Maiden could possibly procreate together, then their child would look like this customer. He just looks awesome to be quite honest and I long to ask if he is a Journey fan.

2. Nice wee 'cuppa!

I have decided that my favourite aisle in the store to work is tea and coffee. Just because of the sheer awesomeness that coffee smells of. I actually wish I liked to drink the stuff because then I could smell it every day. Mmm, coffee... Plus the different packaging is very pleasing to my eyes in a world of orange and purple.

3. A new phobia?

Over the last few months, it has been established by me that there is a new terror in society today. You know how like a phobia of spiders has a special name such as Arachnophobia and the phobia for clowns is called Coulrophobia? Well, what is the term for the phobia of elderly ankles? Seriously, granny ankles freak me out, they are so big and lumpy and horrible, they almost want to make me cry. I'm not overreacting at all. Or maybe I have hypocondria, who knows... However, I would like to bestow a name of this new phobia I discovered, therefore, I unveil 'Grosteselderankphobia' as the term to describe the phobia of elderly ankles.

Disgusting...

I honestly cannot put into words my utter disgust and anguish at Panorama's investigation into abuse in a hospital for people with severe learning difficulties and autism. This is serious issue for me as my own lovely wee brother is autistic and seeing people degraded and treated no better than dogs has actually reduced me to tears, thinking that could be someone else's little brother or sister being treated horribly. I hope the despicable creatures involved with this get everything they deserve. I would personally torture them and throw away the key Jack-Bauer style but unfortunately, that is illegal. Everyone should watch it though, because at the end of the day, despite their problems, they are still people, human beings. Just disgusted to be honest.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13548222

"Hey 'June', don't make it bad..."

"Well, Hello there June, it is nice of you to finally join us in 2011, please, take a seat and make yourself comfortable. Now, myself and the rest of the human race hope that you bring sunshine and happy summer times during your time with us"

Metaphorically, If you could have conversation with 'June', then that is what it would look like, I imagine (and let's face it, my imagination runs wild). However, if you actually know someone called June then you might have this exact conversation (I wouldn't know though, I am not acquainted with any Junes) But alas, June is finally here (the month, I know, all these Junes are confusing), heralding the half way point in the year which is kind of scary thinking that it was six months ago since Christmas and it is only six months to go till NEXT Christmas.

But enough about June (she likes to steal the limelight, doesn't she?)! I enjoyed a nice pub lunch today with Devon and Laura at Shenanigans, the chicken wraps were simply splendid and packed full of flavour (as soon as I said 'splendid', I thought of Lloyd Grossman and I just ran with it. It felt like the right thing to do at the time so don't judge me!)

Look how content he is knowing his face is on a jar, D'awww!

I also bought more things for holiday such as essential toiletries (including four cans of hairspray, however, in my defense, three of them are handbag size) and plimsolls (which autocorrect has informed me is not spelled 'Plimsoles', MIND BLOWN.) When I got home, I packed them in my case and I'm now standing at exactly 15kg! Some sort of re-jiggery...pokery has to be done as I still haven't packed everything! I also managed to watch 'Britain's Got Talent' and I genuinely so happy that Jean got through, I actually wish she was my Granny to be honest.

Looking back at this blog, I think I'm clinically insane. HELP!