We can turn back the hands of time... Part Two

Due to Devon's tiredness last night (which clearly means, I was too 'ahem' energetic for her in a certain department last night and may possibly need to slow the tempo down next time I see my darling girlfriend), I had to cut the previous blog and now I'm onto part two (ooh go me, sound like a right wee author!). It also completes the contracted one blog per night set by Miss Whiplash herself (In fact, No, she would enjoy that title far too much, we'll say 'Wee Yin' instead, as Ellyn nicely put it). So where was I in my retrospective of two thousand and eleven so far? Ahh yes...

April


Trip to Edinburgh with Mark


We had discussed it for a while and then the opportunity decided to present itself on the Friday, where the weather was supposed to be glorious and shining like a proverbial star (or something particularly shiny). We did go to Edinburgh and whilst East Kilbride bathed in the shiny stuff, Edinburgh remained covered in a dark mist for most of the day. Did that stop us? Hell no. We did lot's of cultural stuff and I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life at the mirrors in Camera Obscura. Plus, Mark running to the entrance of the Vortex Tunnel was epic.

Round Leon's


I lost my beer pong virginity, sipped a squashed frog and drank copious amounts of alcohol, culminating in crawling my way to the fridge because I could not stand anymore, to get more alcohol to finish the game of Ring of Fire (I mean, how pathetic is that? It may be time to give AA a call!). Then Jelly ended up on the ceiling and Mark tried to get it off with a broom whilst repeatedly saying 'Sweep Sweep' and we ended by reading bedtime stories to each other. All I can say is what a fecking good night!

May


Lisa's Birthday


Walking down Ashton Lane was like walking through a quaint town in the countryside, except it was right in the middle of Glasgow, next to the Hillhead Subway Station. I did laugh at the people in heels tackling the cobbles though, tee hee. We went for a bit of a pub crawl in Ashton Lane, sampled cocktails which Mark pointed out were flawed and told me how to make them better. It was also the night that the fact I'm bitched by Mark reared it's head (bad times). Then we went to the Garage afterwards where my attempts to find a nice young man only culminated in a random guy grabbing my hand as I walked past.

Eurovision


Lauren and mines most hotly anticipated event of the year finally arrived on the 14th May and it was an epic day to be honest. We made our t-shirts with pride (and mess, silly paint) and then went round to Katy's where I had a full bottle of vodka to myself and did not feel a thing (which lead me to believe I was a heavyweight, oh how wrong I was).

Birth of Cousin Harry


For most people, the birth of a cousin is not really that spectacular but because I come from a weird family, he is my only male first cousin so I was excited. He's an absolute beauty and he seems to like me as he wasn't wailing for his mum like all other babies do when I hold them.

3OH!3 Gig


After nearly forgetting about it, Lauren and me went to see 3OH!3 and Innerpartysystem at the Glasgow ABC. We also felt the need to sample two cocktails in Wetherspoons as a matter of decency to the chain and then entered Snapbooth, WIN! Both bands sounded amazing live and Sean Foreman is even more beautiful in reality.

June


Clare's Birthday


I had a great night! I drank very little, I enjoyed deep conversations with my friends, maintained a decent and graceful composure for the whole night and went home at 3am very sober and clean! (And that's how I shall maintain the night went because it is all lies and slander).

And that's the year so far! Here's to the rest of two thousand and eleven and more importantly, BULGARIA, which is in two days!

Let's go round again... Part One

A few minutes ago, I had the sudden realisation that we are basically half-way through the year, two thousand and eleven (I can't help, I genuinely don't like the look of numbers, I prefer word. Blame higher english, shrugs). Therefore, it would only be natural and obvious to write a retrospective blog as it is the perfect time to have a look back on the last six months of 'two thousand and eleven' so far (and also because I promised Devon three blogs, my woman is nothing but demanding these days).

January

Wales

Wales was supposed to be a trip to see Ellyn for her eighteenth in the beautiful city of Bangor (yes, I am acknowledging it as a city now, not a town that it clearly is) and do not get me wrong, it was exactly that but it was also... quite a formative experience for me, I guess you could say. However, I loved the little city, Ellyn's flatmates are just brilliant people to be honest, seeing Ellyn was lovely and I stressed about trains, yay. It was a great wee holiday to bring the year in with a bang (or a thrust into a wall, shrugs).

Attack Attack Gig

Lauren and me waited two years to witness the sheer awesomeness of this band live and it was worth the wait. With the inclusion of a Fraser, we watched Sacred Betrayal attract the jailbait like a fridge attracts a magnet before the band themselves got onstage. I got drunk, I went nuts and I lost my purse in the cathouse. What a night. What makes me laugh is the fact that I was more worried about losing my cinema card than my bank card, what can I say, I am clearly a woman who has her priorities in the right place.

February

Polo

Robyn finally managed to succeed in getting me to Polo and Mark came along too. The first time we went, Mark and I decided to go all posh and eat in La Vita but subsequent times merely involved a chewing gum buying spree (for obvious reasons). I was pulled by a forty year old italian man (because I will always contest that I never pulled him) and went on a first date (D'aww). Jeez, when I think about it, February was also a formative month. I also won my first game of pool fairly, I was rather chuffed.

Jill's eighteenth

What was to be the last house party, the littleon of the group finally came of age and of course, we all celebrated it in true style by getting absolutely smashed. Rolling around the floor was definitely the highlight, as was the rave, that was the best and only rave I have ever been to. John and me having an in-depth philosophical conversation about Tommy, the green ranger from the Power Rangers was of course, a brilliant part of the night. However, what a way to confuse somebody who went to sleep with a double duvet and wakes up with a single...

My Chemical Romance Gig

Yes, most people think they are shit. Most people think they are past it. And to be honest, you would not be far wrong but the fact of the matter is the concert was brilliant, The Blackout were a fantastic support band and My Chemical Romance played a great set. That was also the night I met Debby, who has since become a really good friend and also, our epic journey back to East Kilbride via the last 66!

March

My Nineteenth

I am a biased person, I know this but I really enjoyed my nineteenth. The general feedback from people was 'I expected it to be crap but it was actually really good'. I literally do not know if I take this as an insult or a compliment but when you're as mad about the eighties as I am, you could not give a flying fuck. Plus, I went behind the DJ decks, and it was beast! Oh and the cake, the cake was amazing.

Fusi's nineteenth

My first night out to an ABC clubnight and it was beast. It was my first time of experiencing a Glasgow branch of Spoons, and I cannot lie, it was love at first sight when I saw the beautiful prices on the menu. Plus, Janey looked a babe in her Florence dress! (I have deja vu, I have written that sentence before somewhere, spooky!)

Hanna visiting

It was so amazing to see my lovely Hanna again nearly nine months after she moved back to Sweden. We only spent a couple of hours together but it was lovely seeing her face in real life instead of on a Skype box. I still miss her and I hope she continues to get better but I hope her visit to Scotland did some good.

Abby's leaving night

It feels kind of strange talking about this when she comes back in three days time, it is amazing how time flies but it was strangely not a bad night out, especially for Fuzion standards. It will be good to see her again and hear about her adventures in Oz!

Work Day Out

Originally Rebecca's idea, we decided to go out for the day before our shift at work. We decided to be fat bastards and visit both Nando's (which I won't talk about due to smashing a full bottle of Peri Peri sauce) and Yo Sushi! We also went to Hamleys, which was great fun and we walked around House of Fraser, where we felt like scum of the earth, yay! Also, a trip to the apple store was a necessary inclusion.

Because Devon wants to get to her bed, I shall do part two tomorrow. Plus, that counts as my blog for the day, Wheeeeeey!

Indecisive soul...

I cannot lie, I was struggling finding material for tonight's blog. It seems people expect me to be like a fountain, spewing blogs out like Saturday's 'Chunderama' (I had to steal that word from Chris, it was far too good at reinforcing that analogy). I'm also enjoying how my antics are spreading through work like a fire, thanks to Stephen!

There is also the fact that I cannot choose a song to listen to in full on iTunes, a fact that upsets me greatly. I'm going to blame it on holiday buzzingness, which decided to finally slap me in the face at quarter to one in the morning. Great. Honestly, it's ridiculous but I am almost as excited about going into Wetherspoons in Glasgow Airport as I am to actually be going on holiday! Bang, there goes sobriety, although that has lasted quite well to be honest, well, good for me anyway!

However, I did a mammoth task last night that I am quite proud of. Sometimes, when I download music, it goes on itunes with only '01 - Born this way' as the information. It is a tad annoying, to say the least, especially because my iTunes is the only area of my life that is organised. Therefore, when all three hundred and thirty of my Queen songs decided to be nasty and appear on iTunes like that, it was worth the four hours, trawling through Wikipedia for album information and typing each song up by hand. It looks dead pretty now though so I'm quite chuffed with that.

I know I'm made happy by the littlest things but just leave me and my simple ways alone!

Something about Lauren...

There I was, just about to blog about the usual, normal stuff that I blog about when it suddenly occurred to me. The fact of the matter is, I need to talk about my best friend, Lauren. You see, the thing is, as much as it pains me to say it I think she may be going a bit mental! I say this in only a loving, caring way but I am starting to worry! The fact I could be sharing a flat with a deranged Jalapeno lover is genuinely a frightening prospect. Therefore, I shall present my evidence for the case.

Exhibit A - 'Mwahaha'

When we were walking away from the pub yesterday night, she launched into the most random and echoing evil laugh I have ever witnessed. I was bewildered to be quite honest but I let it slide because it could be down to general buzzingness for holiday... or could it be something more sinister? For all we know, she could be the next evil genius of the world but we'll cross that bridge if we come to it.

Exhibit B - 'Jalapenos'

There is no easy way to explain this so I may as well just post the conversation, word for word, no doctoring.

Exhibit C - 'Bum'

Again, the picture needs no explanation, mainly because I can't explain it. It is impossible. Also, the girl admits it herself that she is losing her sanity!

So, do I go on holiday with my deranged ginger best friend or take the safe option and run away as fast as I can?
...
I can't be arsed running so holiday it is! Plus, she's taking toastabags which is a heroic gesture to be quite honest!

I really fucking love you.

I ain't no Hollaback girl.

Now, enough of the soppy shite and onto more happier occasions! We shall speak no more of sad things (unless more sad things happen, which I hope they don't).

Today was really good, despite the half an hour sleep I got last night. I finally fell asleep about half an hour before I was due to get up (typical really). I dreamed that I was in Bulgaria and that I was using an ATM that had a flamethrower attached to it so you could light your cigarette whilst you withdrew money. (Somehow, I doubt I will take this idea to Dragon's Den...).

I got up at ten past nine (which was genuinely quite disgusting) and miraculously managed to get ready and bussed to my old school for quarter past ten where I met up with Mark as we both attended my brother's award ceremony. It was so cute, he went up twice which I was so proud of and surprisingly, I wasn't at any point getting bored of it, even though I was there for two hours! I got a few wee cheeky pictures of him too even though he was quite embarrassed by all the attention, bless him! Mark and me then temporarily went our seperate ways whilst he collected some DVD's and a scran for our 'Alien Vs. Predator' DVD day. It went quite successfully, as we watched 'Alien', 'Aliens' (which I was amazed at as we expressed a mutual liking for one character) and then 'Predator' to finish. I think the next one will be Pixar - orientated as Mark spied 'A Bug's life' and we casually starting discussing it.

GET TO DA CHOPPA!

Yeah... you.

I dislike my personality sometimes. I dislike how overexcited I get about certain things and how even though I know there is probably very little chance in something, I still get my hopes up to unattainable heights and still suffer when they come crashing down. I also dislike how it takes me what seems like forever to get over something, no matter how trivial it is. And here I am, blaming myself because that is all I seem to do nowadays whenever I think about it. I did not get any answers, any conclusive reasons and that is what annoys the fuck out of me. It is just so frustrating, I do not think you meant to do it but meh, it happened anyway. I replay it in my head nearly all the time, I think of the things I said, how they could have been misconstrued even though to most people, it would have seemed like a normal thing to say. Christ, I even criticise the outfit I was wearing. Thanks for making me this way because to be honest, I'm sick of blaming myself and I need to get a grip of myself and move the fuck on. I am a nice person, a good person and I have realised that maybe you did not deserve me because everyone deserves a chance.

So fuck you and I wish you goodbye as you exit my head for good because it is about bloody time.

Roll on hot foreign guys in Bulgaria :)

I'm here for your entertainment (Just kidding...)

I think Adam Lambert could potentially be the best looking man of all time. He has great tall, dark hair, perfect, straight teeth, a cheeky glint in his gorgeous grey eyes, and good build and height. To be quite honest with you all , he is just an absolute goddamn sex beast! Additionally, I may as well mention the fact that he has an absolutely amazing voice and had the balls to sing Bohemian Rhapsody in his audition and actually manage to do it some justice (although no-one can beat Freddie, ever).

However, as with all things (especially gorgeous men), there is one tiny little snag in this deal. He is a man attracted to males and I'm a female. GODDAMMIT! Ach well, a girl like me can dream. And a guy could potentially have his dream realised. Sadface.


It just seems to prove that real men wear eyeliner, just saying. As Billie Joe Armstrong and Jared Leto proved years ago.

Om nom nom!

Om nom nom nom!

*Dies*