Friday 7 October 2011

The Pearl and Moustache

It seems that life is all doom and gloom at the moment, with tonight bringing the sad news that my guidance teacher at Duncanrig, Mr Tom Guinney has tragically passed away.

This man was properly selfless and had a massive heart. He was always there with a smile on his face, his glasses resting on the end of his nose and he was possibly the one out of a hundred men who could grow such an incredible moustache.

I owe the man a lot. He was the one who sat down with me and went through every aspect of my university application and he gave me a glowing reference, something which I am eternally grateful for. I'm convinced that without his kind words, I would not be doing what I want to do with my life. But he did that everyone and every year he took the time to help people begin the rest of their lives.

There is now a hole in Duncanrig that can never be replaced. That is true. And as everyone who even remotely connected with the Duncanrig community will know that tragedy is never far from us. The loss of Mr Murray, of Max and the two Jack's and all the lives interconnected with these events that have been forever altered, it all adds up to quite a gloomy picture. However, like we have done when these horrible things have happened, we suit up, chin up and walk on because that's life, however cruel and harsh it can be

Rest in peace Mr Guinney, you were another pivotal person in my life who will never be forgotten.


Thursday 6 October 2011

"A hero is a man who does what he can"

Today, one of my heroes died. It's quite a hard thing to comprehend.

The funny thing is, I didn't realise how much of an inspiration this person was to me until he was gone. You may call me overemotional or silly to be personally affected by this man's passing but I'm sensitive. Of course, the person I'm talking about is the incredible Steve Jobs, co-founder of 'Apple' who died at the tragically young age of fifty-six yesterday.

Last year, I did a lot of research on Apple for my marketing essay in first year and I found learning about Apple and Jobs very interesting, possibly contributing to my ongoing interest in the subject this year. However, let's not beat about the bush; Jobs revolutionized the technology that we see today, whether it can be seen or not. He was part of the team that developed the first personal computer, he was pushed out of the very company he had set up in 1986, only to invest wisely in, at the time a little-known and new film studio, Pixar (you may have heard of it). In 1997, as Apple was heading to the administrators, he came back and u-turned the company into one of the most successful technology corporations of all time, if not 'thee' best. And let's not forget the iPod, iTunes, the iPhone which set the bar with Smartphones and the ipad. With such credentials as these, you can see why he is such an inspiration to many people, including myself.

Although he did not achieve all this single-handedly, it was his impressive leadership skills, his drive, passion and commitment to Apple that made it the company it is today. All day I have been watching him present his new products to conferences around the world on Youtube, his public speaking skills were the pinnacle of entertainment and clarity.

All this and much more, is why my heart sank this morning when I was on the bus and found out he had passed away. I have literally thought about nothing else all day. He changed the world, whether you know it or not and made it better, for everyone. He was a unique person, one of a kind and that is why to me, as a person studying business, he is such a hero to me.

Rest in peace Steve Jobs, your legacy will live on through the generations of people you have inspired.


That downward incline...

I missed my first lecture today... and it's the second week. However, I would totally like to take this opportunity to justify why I missed it and I'm sure once I've explained it in all it's colour, clarity and glory, you will understand and possibly agree with me.

1. It was 6am.
2. My muscles are the consistency of rock at the moment, which is agonising.
3. 6am.
4. Lying in bed for another four hours is a temptation no-one should have to deal with.
5. 6AM.
6. I would have had to wait three hours for my next class.
7. MOTHERFUCKING 6AM!
8. You can get the lecture notes online and I probably would have fell asleep anyway.
9. Can I stress that I had to get up at 6am?!

Now, you see the course of action I took was not only appropriate but sensible too! Good ol' me. However, to be truthful, I felt really guilty about it, like I'd come off the wagon, so hopefully I'll man up next week when the time comes again!

Also, I finished Fable 2 tonight and I finally got my wife, the wonderful Natalie back. Words could not describe how happy I was to see her, since she had gone missing (which I now understand was when Lucien's men kidnapped and killed her) and then my kid ran across the market square and asked if I remembered him. It could have brought tears to my virtual eyes because, naturally, of course I remembered him! It was at that moment I knew I had made the right choice to save them from death. I also got a nice wee letter from my sister, who was also ressurected. Though I was a little upset she never came to meet me, so I am slightly miffed. So, because I'm a top dad and all, I gave little Tobias a present, 'Captain Dread's Sword' so that he can show his friends who's boss, which would be me (I am a hero after all). So what's left for me in Albion? Well I am now in the process of cashing in my wealth and investing in property, as I have semi-retired from saving the world at this present moment in time. I have found a nice wee estate in Oakfield which I wish to move my family to, so that little Tobias can run around in the good ol' country air and Natalie and me can rebuild our family again (ten years imprisoned in the Spire did not do our relationship any good) and so that she stops moaning about how crap our house on Bowerstone Market is (I thought it was a central location myself but you know, the wife is always right).


Monday 3 October 2011

You know you're a fail in life when you can't even do a press up...

Today marked the fifth day of being a gym member and I have been four times, which in all honesty, is pretty good (Well in my biased opinion anyway). My eating habits have changed drastically, as has my tea consumption (always hungry equals turning into a Granny); I am literally a tea leaf at the moment. However I'd rather be a tea leaf than a chocolate bar (Don't know really know where I'm going with this so I'm going to leave that analogy where it belongs: The Dustbin).

However, the slight downside to this 'Get Fit' regime is that I think I'm losing brain cells due to all this exercise (which let's face it, is unfamiliar territory for me). I mean, what sort of person forgets to bring a towel with them when they go into a sauna? And then to add even more insult to injury, has a shower and becomes a walking puddle? I'm beginning to truly worry about myself. The sauna was fun though. Especially because the first one we entered was malfunctioning and Debby and me were chilling in a 100 degree heat asking ourselves if this was what a sauna was like (which was death, for your information). Then we went into the steam room and my God, it does some wonders to your skin! I feel smooth (but not like a baby's bottom, I find that analogy weird and slightly creepy).

I'm just genuinely hoping that my enthusiasm does not wane over time because that would be a really bad thing. I guess I'm getting to that stage in my life where something needs to be done and finding out my BMI was not a massive shock but still enough to get my life (and butt) into gear. Being this way has almost robbed me of my teenage years but it won't spoil my twenties!

So, thinspiration of the day goes to Pixie Lott!




Sunday 2 October 2011

Tea saves lives, FACT.

Readers, I am sad to say that I am currently locked in a battle of wills. A battle of wills in which only the strongest will survive and in the end, there can be only one winner. It is intense and complicated and can only be won through a combination of sheer determination and strength on one's part.

So yeah, maybe I did hype my battle with the fridge up slightly but most people don't understand what a manipulative and imposing rival this metal white box makes. Let me explain in more detail...

For the last few years, when one stays up late at night, the fridge provides a place of activity, entertainment and food, LOTS OF FOOD. However, our tentative relationship has become strained recently, mainly due to the fact that it was there to provide me with some recreation,  not to turn me into a walking blob.

So, I am now in a death match with my fridge.

An artist's impression of the death match. HADOUKEN!

However, in this fight with the fridge, I have an unlikely ally and his name is Tea. Tea's warm loveliness entering my belly dissolves all of hunger and definitely muffles the callings of the fridge (who has also decided to recruit the evil cupboards as henchmen in his war). He's even tried to break me by having a pot of 'Philadelphia' in the fridge but I will be strong, drink tea and carry on!

That's all folks, I will submit a progress report tomorrow!

Juan Pablo Di Pace...

If you would feel so obliged, could you please enter my bed? Thank you.



Love of my life, don't leave me...

Remember I told you about my obsessive personality? Well, Fable 2 is the latest fad in a long line of faddy fads (which sounds so inappropriate and probably better in my head). However, there is one character that has a special place in my heart. Therefore, if my Hero could write a blog account about the love of his life, this is probably what it'd look like...

'Satyrday, first of Oktober, in the year of our lord 2011,

The following account deals with my absolute love and adoration for my beautiful wife, Natalie the Traveller and our son, Tobias.

The road to love was a difficult one for me, having lost my sister at a younger age, falling out of a castle and being brought up by a psycho gypsy woman with no eyes. Although Natalie is my first and only true love, there are many who idealise me and often stalk me, even into my own house. Their names are Hannah the Barmaid and Burt the Househusband, the latter of which terrifies me. My hatred of the poor fellow has taken on such a complex, that I dreamed about making him follow me to the docks and with my own sword, slaughtering him at sundown only for Hannah to see it and inform the authorities. Although, the most crushing thing was for my wife to tell me to not to look at her. I felt disgusted. So however strong my feelings of distaste for Burt are, for now, the sword will stay in my sheath (both literally and metaphorically).

However, Natalie was not my first suitor. Whilst I was travelling through Oakfield on my way to the Temple of Light, I met a lovely woman who charmed me so much, I instantly bought a house and spent the night with her. However, I realised in the morning that she was not the one for me, mainly due to the fact that she had a face not unlike a woman I once knew whose cow had sat on her face. With that I went on my journey to the Temple of Light, where the trails of my adventure eventually lead me back to Bowerstone.

Even after this, I had still not discovered Natalie and instead was wooing the local beauty, 'Beryl the Housewife'. We got on excellently, her male sense of humour and love of gambling provided a very common talking point. However, it was only after I suggested intimacy that she repelled my feelings, saying she preferred the fairer sex (or the minge). Alas, I slid into a deep depression that lasted all of two minutes, until I saw Natalie. Her brown hair, concious style and voice captivated me. As I showed her Thag's head, she was not repulsed but rather compelled and this was enough to propose marriage to her, which she gladly accepted. I bought a house in Bowerstone Town Square, where we set up home and within five minutes, had brought a baby son into the world, Tobias.

Life was perfect and idyllic and the invention of the condom provided much happiness in our lives. However, the weight of my mission began to take its toll and before long, I was spending longer and longer away from home, although my heart was always with Natalie and the little one. It was at that point that I was imprisoned in The Spire. Despite all the suffering and the draining of our will constantly, the one thing that kept me going was her. So it was a shock when I arrived home ten, long years later to see my son, all grown up but mute and paralysed, paralysed in the same spot his cradle had been, grief stricken by his father's disappearance. Then Natalie, well, I have not seen her since I came back, the locals won't say much but I fairly sure that she has passed away. Oh woe is me. However shall I find love again when the only woman I ever loved was Natalie?