Two, Zero, One, One

Guys, get your pacemakers fitted and your defibrillators at the ready... I am back. Wow, there's a lot of dust here...

Now, heart attacks and dust mites aside, I thought it was both necessary and fitting to write a last blog of the year, which is why I have come back, risen from the dead, chipped away at the writer's block etc. Last year, to mark the new year,  I did highlights. This year, despite my absolute lack of energy and being-arsed-ment, I feel that it would be an injustice to not blog about such a great year! I also especially waited until now because it is New Year's Eve and it is even more special poignant (I love how that word is spelt).

To begin, an extract from last year.

"After this year, it has made me determined to make more of my life, grabbing opportunities and experiences as soon as I see them. I have so much to look forward to next year and I want to put all my energy and soul into next year so I can say 2011 was the best year of my life. "

Being a soppy sack was never cool Amy, never cool...

'Ahem'. So my hope last year was to make 2011 the best year of my life. I think I achieved that! (Celebratory fanfare starts but ends abruptly due to my headache).Oh gosh, I sound so meh! I think I need to embody the japanese 'happy happy' spirit for the rest of this. 'Gulp', Here it goes...


January


Nothing particularly exciting happened in January... EXCEPT FOR WALES! Seeing little Ellyn and her flatmates was, eventful, to say the least. I made three new friends and got exceptionally drunk and got up to exceptionally drunken shenanigans. I also got my 'I survived Bitch Hill' T-Shirt which I am immensely proud of. (That was a lie).

Mius Kayleigh!

February


I went to see My Chemical Romance (and before a lot of people lynch me, FT HATERZ). They were well good. I also met Debby that night, who has become a very good friend of mines (I hate you, you're a very bad person Devon for thinking what you just thought). It also marked the first few times I went to Polo with my dear leader, Mark (which I think should stick). I also loved...and lost. But had fun at the time! By this point, my mind was blown! I also got a blackberry and joined the smartphone generation!

March


March marked my birthday! My nineteenth to be precise and it was an eighties extravaganza. I also managed their extraordinary feat of getting Mark to go to a club that was not Polo. Amazing really. Hanna also visited from Sweden and Fusi's nineteenth at Propaganda, a great night had by all!

April


Went to Edinburgh with Mark, which was a truly banterful and wonderful day, being wee cultural tourists and such japes! Also, had an epic night at Leon's house, which was very drunken, very very drunken and hilariously funny. Possibly one of the best nights of my life.

I've lost the will.

The 'C' Word

Haha, how long has it been since I blogged? An age? Funny I should mention the word 'age'...

Remember Natalie in Fable? Although she will always have a small, tiny niche of my heart, the other 99.9% is comprised of my utter adoration for another fictional, graphical, pixelated and above all, UNREAL character. Alistair of 'Dragon Age Origins'.

He is the love of my gaming life. His wit, charm, looks and humour is what makes me get up in the morning (and turn on the xbox).

I have also realised that this makes me a very sad human being and therefore, needs to get a life. So I have decided to look forward to the big event of the year.

CHRISTMAS!

When it comes to Christmas, I embody the spirit of a five year old. I am always excited for it and I intend to make this Christmas the best Christmas ever! I barely slept last year and I was eighteen so God knows when I will grow out of it. So, here is what I intend to do in the month of December!

1. The first plan is to go out for Christmas dinner with Mark, Devon and Mark in Glasgow and then go to George Square to see all the twinkly lights and go on the merry-go round (as I cannot ice skate for peanuts!). Then, I intend to have a christmassy night in with that lot and another special person where we'll have roast turkey (probably out of M&S), Crackers, Mince Pies (no matter how much lunacy Devon and Mark display over their appeal) and BOOZING! Lots of boozing! Perhaps a round of Christmas Beer Pong would suffice?

2. The Strathclyde Business Ball is obviously majorly exciting! However, if I do not start going back to the gym, the dress I ordered will not fit, which could not be more of a disaster! It has already been agreed that whilst Mark and me get ready in the hotel room, that Michael Buble's christmas album will be playing in the background, as well as an abundance of pre-drinking! If only Celine had a christmas album...

3. Finally the big December event is, of course, Hogmanay! Ashton Lane Street Party anyone?!

The Pearl and Moustache

It seems that life is all doom and gloom at the moment, with tonight bringing the sad news that my guidance teacher at Duncanrig, Mr Tom Guinney has tragically passed away.

This man was properly selfless and had a massive heart. He was always there with a smile on his face, his glasses resting on the end of his nose and he was possibly the one out of a hundred men who could grow such an incredible moustache.

I owe the man a lot. He was the one who sat down with me and went through every aspect of my university application and he gave me a glowing reference, something which I am eternally grateful for. I'm convinced that without his kind words, I would not be doing what I want to do with my life. But he did that everyone and every year he took the time to help people begin the rest of their lives.

There is now a hole in Duncanrig that can never be replaced. That is true. And as everyone who even remotely connected with the Duncanrig community will know that tragedy is never far from us. The loss of Mr Murray, of Max and the two Jack's and all the lives interconnected with these events that have been forever altered, it all adds up to quite a gloomy picture. However, like we have done when these horrible things have happened, we suit up, chin up and walk on because that's life, however cruel and harsh it can be

Rest in peace Mr Guinney, you were another pivotal person in my life who will never be forgotten.

"A hero is a man who does what he can"

Today, one of my heroes died. It's quite a hard thing to comprehend.

The funny thing is, I didn't realise how much of an inspiration this person was to me until he was gone. You may call me overemotional or silly to be personally affected by this man's passing but I'm sensitive. Of course, the person I'm talking about is the incredible Steve Jobs, co-founder of 'Apple' who died at the tragically young age of fifty-six yesterday.

Last year, I did a lot of research on Apple for my marketing essay in first year and I found learning about Apple and Jobs very interesting, possibly contributing to my ongoing interest in the subject this year. However, let's not beat about the bush; Jobs revolutionized the technology that we see today, whether it can be seen or not. He was part of the team that developed the first personal computer, he was pushed out of the very company he had set up in 1986, only to invest wisely in, at the time a little-known and new film studio, Pixar (you may have heard of it). In 1997, as Apple was heading to the administrators, he came back and u-turned the company into one of the most successful technology corporations of all time, if not 'thee' best. And let's not forget the iPod, iTunes, the iPhone which set the bar with Smartphones and the ipad. With such credentials as these, you can see why he is such an inspiration to many people, including myself.

Although he did not achieve all this single-handedly, it was his impressive leadership skills, his drive, passion and commitment to Apple that made it the company it is today. All day I have been watching him present his new products to conferences around the world on Youtube, his public speaking skills were the pinnacle of entertainment and clarity.

All this and much more, is why my heart sank this morning when I was on the bus and found out he had passed away. I have literally thought about nothing else all day. He changed the world, whether you know it or not and made it better, for everyone. He was a unique person, one of a kind and that is why to me, as a person studying business, he is such a hero to me.

Rest in peace Steve Jobs, your legacy will live on through the generations of people you have inspired.

That downward incline...

I missed my first lecture today... and it's the second week. However, I would totally like to take this opportunity to justify why I missed it and I'm sure once I've explained it in all it's colour, clarity and glory, you will understand and possibly agree with me.

1. It was 6am.
2. My muscles are the consistency of rock at the moment, which is agonising.
3. 6am.
4. Lying in bed for another four hours is a temptation no-one should have to deal with.
5. 6AM.
6. I would have had to wait three hours for my next class.
7. MOTHERFUCKING 6AM!
8. You can get the lecture notes online and I probably would have fell asleep anyway.
9. Can I stress that I had to get up at 6am?!

Now, you see the course of action I took was not only appropriate but sensible too! Good ol' me. However, to be truthful, I felt really guilty about it, like I'd come off the wagon, so hopefully I'll man up next week when the time comes again!

Also, I finished Fable 2 tonight and I finally got my wife, the wonderful Natalie back. Words could not describe how happy I was to see her, since she had gone missing (which I now understand was when Lucien's men kidnapped and killed her) and then my kid ran across the market square and asked if I remembered him. It could have brought tears to my virtual eyes because, naturally, of course I remembered him! It was at that moment I knew I had made the right choice to save them from death. I also got a nice wee letter from my sister, who was also ressurected. Though I was a little upset she never came to meet me, so I am slightly miffed. So, because I'm a top dad and all, I gave little Tobias a present, 'Captain Dread's Sword' so that he can show his friends who's boss, which would be me (I am a hero after all). So what's left for me in Albion? Well I am now in the process of cashing in my wealth and investing in property, as I have semi-retired from saving the world at this present moment in time. I have found a nice wee estate in Oakfield which I wish to move my family to, so that little Tobias can run around in the good ol' country air and Natalie and me can rebuild our family again (ten years imprisoned in the Spire did not do our relationship any good) and so that she stops moaning about how crap our house on Bowerstone Market is (I thought it was a central location myself but you know, the wife is always right).

You know you're a fail in life when you can't even do a press up...

Today marked the fifth day of being a gym member and I have been four times, which in all honesty, is pretty good (Well in my biased opinion anyway). My eating habits have changed drastically, as has my tea consumption (always hungry equals turning into a Granny); I am literally a tea leaf at the moment. However I'd rather be a tea leaf than a chocolate bar (Don't know really know where I'm going with this so I'm going to leave that analogy where it belongs: The Dustbin).

However, the slight downside to this 'Get Fit' regime is that I think I'm losing brain cells due to all this exercise (which let's face it, is unfamiliar territory for me). I mean, what sort of person forgets to bring a towel with them when they go into a sauna? And then to add even more insult to injury, has a shower and becomes a walking puddle? I'm beginning to truly worry about myself. The sauna was fun though. Especially because the first one we entered was malfunctioning and Debby and me were chilling in a 100 degree heat asking ourselves if this was what a sauna was like (which was death, for your information). Then we went into the steam room and my God, it does some wonders to your skin! I feel smooth (but not like a baby's bottom, I find that analogy weird and slightly creepy).

I'm just genuinely hoping that my enthusiasm does not wane over time because that would be a really bad thing. I guess I'm getting to that stage in my life where something needs to be done and finding out my BMI was not a massive shock but still enough to get my life (and butt) into gear. Being this way has almost robbed me of my teenage years but it won't spoil my twenties!

So, thinspiration of the day goes to Pixie Lott!

Tea saves lives, FACT.

Readers, I am sad to say that I am currently locked in a battle of wills. A battle of wills in which only the strongest will survive and in the end, there can be only one winner. It is intense and complicated and can only be won through a combination of sheer determination and strength on one's part.

So yeah, maybe I did hype my battle with the fridge up slightly but most people don't understand what a manipulative and imposing rival this metal white box makes. Let me explain in more detail...

For the last few years, when one stays up late at night, the fridge provides a place of activity, entertainment and food, LOTS OF FOOD. However, our tentative relationship has become strained recently, mainly due to the fact that it was there to provide me with some recreation,  not to turn me into a walking blob.

So, I am now in a death match with my fridge.

An artist's impression of the death match. HADOUKEN!

However, in this fight with the fridge, I have an unlikely ally and his name is Tea. Tea's warm loveliness entering my belly dissolves all of hunger and definitely muffles the callings of the fridge (who has also decided to recruit the evil cupboards as henchmen in his war). He's even tried to break me by having a pot of 'Philadelphia' in the fridge but I will be strong, drink tea and carry on!

That's all folks, I will submit a progress report tomorrow!

Juan Pablo Di Pace...

If you would feel so obliged, could you please enter my bed? Thank you.

Love of my life, don't leave me...

Remember I told you about my obsessive personality? Well, Fable 2 is the latest fad in a long line of faddy fads (which sounds so inappropriate and probably better in my head). However, there is one character that has a special place in my heart. Therefore, if my Hero could write a blog account about the love of his life, this is probably what it'd look like...

'Satyrday, first of Oktober, in the year of our lord 2011,

The following account deals with my absolute love and adoration for my beautiful wife, Natalie the Traveller and our son, Tobias.

The road to love was a difficult one for me, having lost my sister at a younger age, falling out of a castle and being brought up by a psycho gypsy woman with no eyes. Although Natalie is my first and only true love, there are many who idealise me and often stalk me, even into my own house. Their names are Hannah the Barmaid and Burt the Househusband, the latter of which terrifies me. My hatred of the poor fellow has taken on such a complex, that I dreamed about making him follow me to the docks and with my own sword, slaughtering him at sundown only for Hannah to see it and inform the authorities. Although, the most crushing thing was for my wife to tell me to not to look at her. I felt disgusted. So however strong my feelings of distaste for Burt are, for now, the sword will stay in my sheath (both literally and metaphorically).

However, Natalie was not my first suitor. Whilst I was travelling through Oakfield on my way to the Temple of Light, I met a lovely woman who charmed me so much, I instantly bought a house and spent the night with her. However, I realised in the morning that she was not the one for me, mainly due to the fact that she had a face not unlike a woman I once knew whose cow had sat on her face. With that I went on my journey to the Temple of Light, where the trails of my adventure eventually lead me back to Bowerstone.

Even after this, I had still not discovered Natalie and instead was wooing the local beauty, 'Beryl the Housewife'. We got on excellently, her male sense of humour and love of gambling provided a very common talking point. However, it was only after I suggested intimacy that she repelled my feelings, saying she preferred the fairer sex (or the minge). Alas, I slid into a deep depression that lasted all of two minutes, until I saw Natalie. Her brown hair, concious style and voice captivated me. As I showed her Thag's head, she was not repulsed but rather compelled and this was enough to propose marriage to her, which she gladly accepted. I bought a house in Bowerstone Town Square, where we set up home and within five minutes, had brought a baby son into the world, Tobias.

Life was perfect and idyllic and the invention of the condom provided much happiness in our lives. However, the weight of my mission began to take its toll and before long, I was spending longer and longer away from home, although my heart was always with Natalie and the little one. It was at that point that I was imprisoned in The Spire. Despite all the suffering and the draining of our will constantly, the one thing that kept me going was her. So it was a shock when I arrived home ten, long years later to see my son, all grown up but mute and paralysed, paralysed in the same spot his cradle had been, grief stricken by his father's disappearance. Then Natalie, well, I have not seen her since I came back, the locals won't say much but I fairly sure that she has passed away. Oh woe is me. However shall I find love again when the only woman I ever loved was Natalie?

Review of 'Church on the Hill'

'Church on the Hill', even the name suggests an air of elegance and good intentions, almost as if nothing could be wrong with it. With a name like this, you would be expecting heavenly food and drink, angelic and kind staff and sweet Jesus, good value for money as well, naturally.

Looks Idyllic, doesn't it?

HOWEVER, don't let this establishment put you under any false pretences. The place has in place an undercurrent of criminal activities, including and not restricted to

Property Damage, Vandalism, Underage Drinking, Breach of the peace and moany bar bitches in general. Upon entering the establishment, the false facade of paradise was washed away by the barwoman's surly face who served us drinks in tiny glasses. Not to let this deter us, we sat and enjoyed a lovely meal, however we turned around to see the wind had blown glasses off the picnic table and the scene now resembled a typical saturday night at an East Kilbride bus stop. Absolutely shocking. So, as a good customer, I went into the bar to notify someone, this someone being a person who couldn't give less of a shit even if he tried. An hour and a half and a half hearted attempt at cleaning it up later, the ground was still not safe, so it is no surprise why there was a four year old drinking beer. And let's not forget to mention the resident junkie who asked us for 80p and smelled like piss.

Don't be fooled by the church on the hill, the place is rife with drug mules too, disguised as tender grandmothers. Pfft!

Palava, Pavlova, Parabola...

So what does a nightmare situation, a fancy dessert and a mathematical 'conic section' (thank you Wikipedia) have in common apart from sounding the exact same? Well, erm, nothing...

I will cover yesterday though before I launch into my melodramatic ramblings and 'fuck my life' related comments of the day. After university, I got a 66 (for the second time of my life) and met Devon and her college friend, Kayleigh for a drink and a spot of lunch. What started out all pleasant and delightful devolved into all sorts of debauchery and criminal activity including an interrogation with classic questions such as 'Pat Butcher: Shag or die?'. Needless to say, we all chose shag...

Pat's face when she found out our choices...

However, despite the broken glass littering the restaurant, the four year old drinking beer, defacing the picnic benches and a junkie asking us for 80p, it was a brilliant wee afternoon and the best laugh I've had in ages, possibly made nicer with the sun shining. Also, a discovery was made which involved Red Square being one of the tastiest vodkas ever.

Although the good days cannot last and today has not been an overly brilliant 'day'. I woke up in what can only be described as a foul mood which pretty much set up the mood for the rest of the day.

FIRST BAD THING - Tights. Motherfucker Mofo Tights that are too big and won't stay up. Cue uncomfortable Amy for a whole day. Never wearing them again, ever!

SECOND BAD THING - Strathclyde have fucked up my timetable and I'm now in every second Friday, 9am - 11am which wouldn't be such a bad thing, had it been a decent time.

THIRD BAD THING - I need industrial uber he-man strength eczema cream for my arms and the next available appointment in the 14th October, which I probably won't be able to make now because of the tutorial fuck up. I will probably have scratched my arms off by this point and will be armless therefore incapable of doing everything.

So they were the bad points of my day. The one good thing was my induction at the gym. In fact, I'd go as far as excellent personally. It was such a buzz and the woman who showed us around was lovely! All for what, £20 a month? Offt aye! So I'm going back tomorrow, including a wee sauna sesh, LOVING IT.

Back to 'yooni'...

I like the word 'Yooni' currently. Fraser used it in a comment and it has a a certain charm that 'uni' just lacks. Therefore, I think I will make more use of it...

Anyway, today was the first day back at 'Yooni' after a six-month summer (a summer filled with nothingness except a week away and working). So, although it is nice to have a lie in EVERYDAY, it's good to be back and to be using my brain again (which you know, is essential in a human being's life). However, I do not think I will ever get used to the early starts, so my full attendance record I've set already may yet be ruined (I know it's day one but I deserve a medal for going in seeing as I rather neglected lectures last year...)

I got the ten past eight bus to be in for ten and arrived at half nine. I hate being late but I also dislike being too early for things too. Also, the fact that I am a friendless bastard in my course does not help the passage of time (and it's not like I haven't tried). So, sniffling and head drooped, I walked to the lecture room and sat down BY MYSELF. Oh woe is me. At least I didn't fall asleep during this lecture and the lecturer's name is Dr Aliakbar Jafari, which combined gives me the image of Jafar from 'Aladdin' and Admiral Ackbar from 'Star Wars'.

Creepy, enjoy the image of an arabian lobster lecturing on Consumer behaviour...

It finished early which meant another hour and a half of waiting around so I did a very studenty thing and went to the library and wrote up my student planner (which I give two weeks before I forget all about it and lament on what a waste of money it was). The next lecture was management and luckily, Rachel from entrepreneurship last year stroke up a conversation with me and I got to sit next to someone in a lecture (that's how sad my life is).

I was meeting up with Mark for lunch, making the poor boy come down all the way from Caley for me, his wee nigel friend and we sat and had a Greggs (I know I wasn't supposed to go back but I had no pastry!) Also, I bought books from Fraser, which saved me a right few bob (Thank you Fraser!)

Finally, I had international business analysis and I have to say, I nearly fell asleep and did the whole 'my-head-is-falling-forward,-wakes-up-and-snaps-back-up' manoeuvre which does not bode well for the rest of the year... However, none of my lectures lasted long so I got away pretty early and on my way home I picked up a Gym Membership form. I am officially half way to gymness, God knows it will do me good!

Additional point of interest: Thermal mugs so I can have tea on the bus in the morning was a great invention. I want to love the person who thought of it, it saved me today.

You couldn't even look me in the eyes so I'll dim the lights

Currently, my iTunes has 5946 items, which, iTunes kindly calculated for me would take sixteen and a half days to listen to in full. That, my dear friends, is a lot of music.

Unfortunately, heavenly DJ (not Father, it's music duh!) I have a confession to make. I have probably listened to about fifty percent of that. The rest of it is mainly made up of the regular album fluff that no one listens to (because I can't bear to not download a full album). Now obviously, there are some major disadvantages to this. One of them being someone listening to your iPod and exclaiming 'Wow, I never knew you liked that song' and you have to obligatory lie to their faces because in actual fact, you have no idea what they are on about.

However, the one advantage is that sometimes, a song comes randomly on shuffle and you have never heard it before but you love it and it becomes your new favourite song. This is how my relationship with the song 'Encoder' by Pendulum happened about, oh an hour ago! We have a very special relationship, so special that I have constantly repeated it.

You have got to love life sometimes.

There's a first time for everything...

Firstly, I would like to congratulate my blogging interface for reaching it's FIRST BIRTHDAY! I started blogging at 23.24 on the 22nd September 2010... and my, what a year it has been! It is fair to say that such a lot has happened since I took those first, tiny formative steps onto a voyage of typing a lot of shit up and talking a load of crap too that one year ago. It feels kinda weird that I still use this too although I can't say I have been successful in maintaining this blog, I've been a bit greedy and taken a lot of holidays away from blogging (naughty me).

However, with second year at university literally just round the corner, hopefully, exciting bloggable things will happen in my life (or not, y'know?). I mean, the stuff that has happened this week would keep my blog going for a good while, such as purchasing a sombrero and ingesting approximately seventy units of alcohol in one night (probably not advisable) but then again, some things in life are better left as mysteries (unless you're Scooby Doo and the gang, you have the mystery machine for that).

So, the point of this blog was to express that life functions better whilst under the influence of a sombrero. Confused? Nowhere near as much as I am.

Look at dat epic mo'

I'll show you my dirty little secret...

'So, 'Paper Bags and Plastic Hearts'? We meet again. It's been a long time since I was in town but I am now back, back for good and once more I shall rule this town, Mwahaha...'

And so on and so forth. So yeah, maybe my mexican stand off was a bit 'over dramatic' but it's been a while so let me settle back in, okay? (Good.)

It has been a while, I am fully aware of this. And this poor little blog probably feels about as neglected as a... neglected person? For that, I am truly sorry. BUT HAVE NO FEAR, For I start back at university two weeks tomorrow and therefore, I will have new material to spout on the internet about my second year of shenanigans at Strathclyde (which is what a lot of my material last year was based on, let's be honest).

So what's new with me? I mean, surely something incredibly life-changing must have happened to me to excuse the fact that it has been so long since my last post. However, sadly apart from an unhealthy obsession with Cityville on Facebook (which takes up all my time), a new role within Sainsburys and a brand new pair of black vans, nothing is new with me, absolutely nothing whatsoever. Not to say that I haven't done anything though. I've been to a few parties, a few nights out and all manner of things (including introducing my father to Yo Sushi! which was an experience...)

Hopefully, I'll get my full blogging abilities back once I have caught up on sleep, which I seem to be in lacking very much these days. Is this the development of a sleeping pattern? Only time shall tell but until tomorrow, I bid thee readers a fond farewell!

Welcome to your new life.

This is Nero. Nero are a band. A band that has become my new obsession. Some people say their music would be better without vocals but I say fuck up to those people, the vocals is what makes them awesome.

Also, the blond one is really hot (the blond male, let's make that perfectly clear), which is a big mega super plus and in their video for 'Guilt', the poledancer is quite frankly amazing (and no, that does not make me a lesbian, just appreciative of poledancers and their skill in general).

One on the left, YES.

I just love their image, their concept, their music, their lyrics...

JUST. LOVE.

Also, first blog in ages! Let's hope this is the start again!

World War Z

I am genuinely knackered but alas, I am back from my exotic holiday away, a holiday in the wonderful tropical destination that was Ellyn's house (which is around about a three - minute drive from my very own abode, very handy distance you see!). The accommodation was very pleasant, as was the food (the twelve chocolate doughnuts were a massive hit with the group as was the milkybar buttons, which has Jill temporarily mesmerised). Additionally, I won Harry Potter Scene It! for the first time in ages and I won in a very dignified and blase manner (nope, I did not get competitive at all, not one little bit, I didn't snap at Devon when I thought she was moving her piece when I won the points...) I'm totally convincing right? The only bad thing was the fact that I had to temporarily 'fly back home' for work and driving lessons but apart from that, who can complain? A week away from it all, even if it was just down the road did me good! Plus spending time with Ellyn is good seeing as she is AWOL for most of the year in Bangor (insert appropriate sadface here).

On Friday, I went into town with Mark to see if we could catch a glimpse of Mr Pitt and co. shooting a scene for the upcoming zombie epic, 'World War Z' based on the book by Maz Brooks. We got the 11.30 train in from 'Hairy' and sneered at the selfish people who had stolen a table all by themselves and also managing to be the only two people on the train to evade the ticket inspector, hence free train! We then headed straight for George Square which was just mobbed, mobbed because there really is no other way to describe it correctly. Half of the mob in question were waiting to see if anything happened on the set whilst the other half were actually trying to get somewhere (albeit getting somewhere whilst running over my feet with their prams). It was quite surreal to see something you are very familiar with covered in American props such as traffic signs, police cars and ambulances.

Whilst we were walking through the middle of George Sqaure a man who looked like Mr Pitt caught my eye being chaperoned by two security guards and my stomach leapt. However, it turned out not to be him but his stunt double instead (I only found this out tonight when I was reading the paper and an article about him was published). So although I didn't see the real Brad, I am quite happy with what I saw! We then went over to the counting house for a spot of lunch, where I stealthly picked up colouring pencils and a colouring book (which was clearly intended for me, not five year olds, Mark won tic tac toe though, so I was disappointed in myself). Once we had finished our BBQ Chicken and bacon Paninis (because we got the exact same thing), Mark wanted to buy a new suit so we went to Slaters (a shop which I adore) and went for the sole purpose of browsing. In ten minutes, we were out of the shop and Mark was holding a receipt for a new suit. It was like magic...

Mark's wee doodle...

We then went for a wander in St Enochs and like all lost souls wandering about aimlessly in the St Enochs, we ended up in Hamleys and in particular, the jukebox. At first, I was sensible and played some Gaga for the young squires but when Mark chose YMCA/In the Navy by 'Black Lace' (...) and the man in the uniform at the front started dancing the YMCA, we thought that it was only necessary to put it on for a second time so the man could practice his dancemoves (He did half of it wrong to be fair, I wasn't impressed). We then wandered around where an electric shock game caught our eyes and naturally, because we are awesome and use things without reading the instructions, poor Mark (poor being used rather loosely) yelped and got an electric shock, claiming it was 'not pleasant and that he didn't want to put me through that'. D'awww!

We finally managed to tear ourselves from Hamleys and head back up to Buchanan Street for tea and coffee. We stopped to look at one of the Statue men (I'm not sure what you would name a profession like that) and he was allowing all these pigeons to sit on him. I was not amused (Ornithpodophobic anyone?). Behind us, we heard an accordion strike up and Mark's face lit up as it was the wee old woman that he is intending  to 'Adopt' and his plan is for her to perform for guests in our flat and then when I enquired as to where we would keep her, he answered 'The Closet'.Not soon after this she finished her song and left, I wonder why...

Mark's adoptive daughter

We then went into a cafe and enjoyed a nice tea and coffee whilst coming up with the idea to find a coffee shop to act as our regular coffee shop whilst we are both at university together (which I am kind of buzzing for). We investigated numerous potential clientele and I made notes on my blackberry before we finally chose 'The Rouge' in Merchant City as a definite potential choice due to its central location and perfect decor. I love my life sometimes!

A complaint...

Why is actually so much hassle for me to join the gym? (Or the 'Gyme', how that made me laugh Michael and Alistair). I have to go into university, get some random person who does not know me from Adam to sign my application form to receive a student card which I will probably have to wait for to then apply for the actual gym membership with the said student card to get half price membership. You would think the council would try to make it as easy as possible to try and get the public healthy but as with everything else in government, everything is sorted by a form.

On a lighter note though, it is pay day today, even though I will only have about half of it left after I pay all my bills and driving lessons. I hate that part of being an adult. When I was ten, a ten pound note would have kept me going for about a month but it seems that ten pound notes are about as worthless as pennies nowadays. However, it is the last month before I get my loan back so happy times are abound! It is true that you do get used to having a set amount of money a month and hopefully, this means that I will be able to use my money more wisely in the next few months (I've got to save for going abroad, moving out and holidays, it is not good). My plan is to save around three thousand pounds by next year but knowing me, that will not happen ('Hey, Big Spender'!).

"Ayooooo, I'm tired of using 'Crap' technology..."

I love technology, I do, I do, I do. Which is why it saddens me that the technology I own are being shite guys! There is nothing more infuriating than something not working right and believe me, the temptation to throw the whole lot of it out and become amist is surprisingly strong.

Firstly, my six month - old phone has not been the same since I downloaded the new Facebook app. It keeps freezing and being generally a snail. Blackberry better sort that one out soon because it is literally doing my head in and I know other people have been complaining about it.

Secondly, my iPod, which broke a few months ago. I can get it repaired but it is still annoying.

Thirdly, my laptop. Oh, out of the serious crimes my technology has done to me lately, the laptop is definitely the most grievous criminal out of them all. The battery now lasts half an hour at the most and it conveniently forgets to let you know it is about to hibernate hence, rage. Last night, the mouse refused to click on things which led me to bash about on it (the only time ever that bashing has worked for me) and now the wi-fi is so slow due to my sister getting a notebook that I just want to cry!

Oh and the worse thing? My arrow pad is not working on the neopet site and therefore, I can't play games to earn neopoints. The world is a cruel cruel place...

Exile

Guys, get a calender and a pen at the ready and make sure you write this down because this week is the bi-annual 'Gang up on Amy and point out all her flaws week'. Seriously, this is your week to have a go at me and tell me everything I do wrong in life because to be quite frank, I could not get any lower than I am right now. I do not want to go into details on this because that would be insensitive of me and naturally, I have my own part to play in all this (I am not innocent) but unfortunately I'm 'selfish' and 'ungrateful' and I only ever think about 'myself' and therefore, EVERYTHING is my fault (which is true, no matter how anyone wishes to deny it).

So, due to the lack of savings, cash in-hand, prospects and furniture, I am currently trapped here in my bedroom until this all blows over (or it doesn't, whatever) and in general, I am feeling like a shunned member of a community (a community that I do not belong to anymore). You see, it seems once you get to a certain age, you become a disposable asset. I'm not saying my family do not care for me or provide for me because they do and I am grateful for everything they do for me but nowadays, you are made to feel more guilty about it. Also, the fact that they seem quite content being a family of four nowadays anyway, I just don't fit in the family portrait anymore and I'm fine with that, I just wish I didn't have to be here and witness it all happen. (Woops, there goes me being selfish again but I have no evidence to prove otherwise).

However, on a lighter note, I'm quite comfortable here, thanks for asking. I have my laptop, a packed lunch conveniently hidden so I do not need to venture into the kitchen and also at my disposal, a bed and a bathroom across the hall. I think I might take a trek to Neopia now...

Freeze...everybody clap yo' hands!

I'm bored. Incredibly and irrevocably bored. I am dying of boredom and so on and so forth. I have been off university for about four months now and my brain has finally given up the ghost and has become approximately the consistency of soup (specifically, a nice chunky chicken soup if you want to get technical about it). In those four months, I have been on holiday twice and worked at Sainsbury's and that is honestly all I have done. As you can tell, productivity levels are not exactly at their highest...

Which is part of the reason why I cannot wait for university to start again, (Yes, that's right, this is the girl who considered quitting a few months ago and declared her hatred for the place, even though I rarely ventured in anyway) even if it just to acquire my brain back. In all seriousness though, it will be nice to get the lifestyle back. And I have promised myself that I will actually be a proper student this year and go to lectures and study and embrace studentism by doing studenty things! Also, the beautiful fact that I no longer work Tuesdays and therefore can attend 12-Hour Tuesdays is a very exciting prospect! However, I would be lying to you if I didn't admit that the main reason that I'm excited for university is due to the fact that my loan payments start again, a fact that I am positively buzzing for, as I will be 'rich' again and therefore, can go to Yo Sushi! numerous times a month (because I'm not obsessed at all). Additionally, the announcement of the Headphone Disco returning to Fresher's Week has made my very happy as I can honestly say that was one of the best nights out I have ever had.

Back to the lack of productivity now though and today, I stunned my whole household by announcing I was going to gut my room out and if I do say so myself, I am now more organised and tidy than my clean-freak, OCD - sufferering sister, which is no mean feat. It was also an excellent opportunity to find items that I forgot I had, for example, bright green headphones, my Lancome lip gloss which I had loved since the day I got it and my DJ Casper 'Cha Cha Slide' single. The clubmix is on repeat as of this very moment in time and I am not ashamed to admit it.

CHARLIE BROWN!

London Calling...

I would just like to use my space to express my utter disgust at the riots currently taking place in London. This country is an absolute disgrace and I really hope I do not spend the rest of my life here. The scum who are taking part in destroying London single handedly are a genuine menace to our country and I do not wish to see them go without punishment as this would be a great injustice to the people who lives have been irreversibly destroyed in the last three days.

Let's get one thing straight here. The man who was killed by police on Thursday - the police must have had a just cause to act the way they did, for example, if the man pulled a gun on them. To be honest, with terrorism such a massive issue in today's society, if you pull a stunt like that then expect the repercussions to be severe. This man was also known in the area as a criminal and therefore, I cannot lie and say it was a massive loss to society.

What was a massive loss to society was people's ability to act rationally. I genuinely believe that half the rioters do not fully comprehend the situation and are basically wishing to let off a bit of steam and have fun. Fun including injuring police officers and civilians, destroying businesses and homes and looting. This riot is the result of years of bad government, not just this one. There is no discipline for younger people nowadays, some parents do not give a shit where their children are or what they are doing and therefore, these youths are brought up to believe that they can do anything they want. Then you've got the criminal justice system, which let's face it, needs some toughening up. You cannot judge a book by a cover, this is true but something must be done, three years in prison is not going to deter people from acting in a criminal manner.

With these riots spreading to Liverpool and Birmingham it seems that the natural solution would be to impose martial law on these cities and get the army in to deal with it. I emphasise with the police and their cautious approach (in the riots in the eighties, a policeman was hacked to death by a mob) but they need to stand aside and let the people with the right resources and training to deal with it and just put order back in place.

To the people who have lost their homes, businesses and livelihoods tonight, I offer my deep regret and despair at what the UK has become.

Disgraceful.

A 'HIG' Disappointment

On Monday, the family and myself piled into our tiny Peugeot and drove the 194 miles (I google mapped that) to Loch Ness, up to the little village of Drumnadrochit, up Achtemerack and finally, into the drive of my Auntie's farm (lots of lovely words for you there!)

Now, one of the many myths (and believe me, there is loads) surrounding my Auntie's farm is that one of her cottages is rented by a hot irish guy, hence a 'HIG'. There have been various sightings of the HIG, some expressing his loveliness and others detaling what they would give him (Thanks Cousin Fiona!).

So, you can imagine what kind of picture I've got in my head. I find out he's a psychiatrist so he's obviously very intelligent and someone you can have deep, philosophical conversations with, he likes mountain biking, so he's obviously fit. To be honest, he just seemed like the picture of yumminess. Also, irish automatically means 'amazing accent' so you do the math...

Sadly, Lady Luck is no friend of mine as my first glimpse of him revealed him to be a forty year old silver fox. Not that I don't mind older men but my eighty-six year-old auntie told me he was too old for me and I accepted it.

Sad times indeed!

The Invasion

There has been a lack of blogging as of late on my part, mainly because I have not had a lot to say (the official term for that is 'I could not be arsed'). However, a lot has happened, a lot of good stuff that must be documented!

Scotland welcomed the arrival of Ellyn's flatmates, who were up for a week towards the end of July. Obviously, due to the fact that Ellyn needed to prove that she actually had friends of her own in Scotland (her own words, not mine, by the way) but also because they are in general an awesome bunch of people, Devon and me tagged along on their 'excursions' and we had 'such fun' (as Miranda's mum would say in, erm, 'Miranda', which by the way, is an excellent programme!)

Firstly, Ellyn, Chris, Kayleigh, Neil, Devon, Jill and me went to Calderglen Country Park on the Sunday afternoon. It was a really pleasant, sunny day and I enjoyed catching up with Chris on the walk to the Glen. When we arrived, we sat and munched and sat in the sun and just generally caught up whilst the accusations of me being a lesbian were being thrown about like a fucking football. I would like to use this opportunity on my blog to state that I am indeed not and nor will I ever be a lesbian (I simply like men too much). A few hours later, we all got dressed into our gladrags and went round to Laura's for hers and Kayleigh's respective birthday celebrations! There was a bit of a hairy nightmare with Laura washing her hair and removing her extensions VERY last minute (it is quite funny, Laura transgressing from long hair to short hair in the pictures).

Long hair...

We then made our way to the train station and into Glasgow and into the Garage where we got free entry and 'The Lounge' for the night! It was quite awesome, even if there were no batteries for the wii remotes but I am not bitter (slightly but shh). We also discovered the cocktail bar where Jill inadvertedly invented the 'Auldhouse Mafia', a concoction made from banana bols, malibu and pineapple juice. Oooft, it sure was good! We also managed to get a decent group photo of most of us that night, good ol' Garage photographer!

Short hair...

On the Tuesday, Ellyn, Kayleigh, Chris, Neil, Devon and me caught the bus from East Kilbride to Ayr and we met Mark (who texted me saying he was 'hanging around a children's play park', of all places). We spent a really nice day, it was lovely and sunny (three days in a row is very odd) and we just chilled and buried Chris in the sand and went paddling. Mark bought me a rocket lolly which was very nom too. Unfortunately, just as we turned up to our bus stop to get the last one home, we discovered that we had in fact, missed the last bus. Now readers, you will be oh ever so proud of me. I calmly walked up to the desk, ask the man to confirm it and did I panic once? NO! (I could almost put a smiley face but that would go against my rules of no smileys on my blog). I was so proud of myself and you should be proud of me too! Anyway, we managed to get a train to Glasgow and then one to East Kilbride so it all worked out in the end and my overtired hyperness managed to provide much entertainment to Mark and Devon (even if I did look and sound like an escaped mental patient...)

Tee hee, they gave him mismatched boobies *sniggers!

The next day (Wednesday) was yet another early rise and Devon, Mark and me met at the train station with overnight stuff packed in tow too. We met Ellyn, Kayleigh, Chris, Neil and Leon in town and went for a Yo Sushi! (Which I was literally buzzing for) and out of all of Ellyn's flatmates, only Chris survived the sushi experience without decanting to McDonalds (Proud of you Chris!). We then made our way to the Science Centre by bus and because I was special the driver hauled me up in front of the whole bus to give me my special ticket (Under 20's Firstweek I'll have you know). Not even on the bus journey could I escape the lesbian accusations (which were prevalent at the beach too, *sniffles). The science centre was a lot of fun, even though there was a little Japanese kid who was honestly, the most annoying child Mark and me have ever witnessed in public (He ruined my spirograph drawing for christ sakes!). We had to catch the train so we all said goodbye to Ellyn's flatmates. It can be said quite accurately that Mark and me were not friends with the trains that day, as we got lost in Partick train station and we decided to go to Asda in Dunbarton and ended up waiting for a train for about forty five minutes (which in Converse, as we all know, is hellish). However, we did come up with a name for our flat but it is far too good to post on a blog and lose my intellectual property! We eventually made it back to Leon's and we spent the night chatting, laughing and squirming which was good fun, especially lighting Chinese lanterns at half eleven and playing the wii (I did and will always suck at tennis...).

So amused!

Unfortunately, that was the end of a very good week of amusement and prosperity (I had 18p in my pocket after Wednesday, 2p short of the price of tomato soup in my work, a true 'fuck my life' moment).

Eyelashes and aggressiveness...

Hello readers! I have now finally got the lounge to myself as father retired to be two minutes ago after being up nearly twenty four hours. He will never win the 'I can stay up the longest' game when I am playing and therefore, he should have realised this before he stayed up later than he should of (not that my Dad knows this but hey, what can I say? I'm a naturally competitive person, everything is a game).

I cannot get over the fact that I am not working this Saturday night. Most people would make the most of it by going out and getting completely and utterly rat-arsed but I have neither the will nor the funds to accomplish such at-arsery. However, I am keeping all necessary funds for Miss Duffy's birthday night out on Sunday which I am incredibly excited about. (Hello, private butler in our very own band room with midnight muchies and a wii? Yes please!). A stroke of brilliance if you ask me. Best thing about it? We're getting it for free!

Today, I spent the day with Duffman as we shopped and again, I bought three packets of eyelashes. That's now me got about £35 worth of eyelashes for £5. An absolute shocker of a bargain and one that makes me very happy. I'm also rather obsessed with my new hairspray which dries into a glue. Sticking my hand together has been a very amusing element of my day...

I was then the first person bestowed the honour of viewing her new room, which is very pretty, even if it is completely odd how it has changed position and such like. Also, being the true friend I am, I went through the painful procedure and the labour-intensive process of choosing an outfit for her on Sunday, with four possibilities! Jeez, it has become apparent that a career in the fashion industry may be my calling (or not...)



Final 'Summation' (I LOVE THE GRADUAL REPORT - You should totally look it up on Youtube)

It's my beautiful cat's first birthday today, we've had our ups and downs, including finding out that our beloved 'Millie' had turned into our beloved 'Biffy' but I wouldn't change him (her) for the world. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIFFY!

Why yo up in my Grillz? (or, Why is one in one's personal space, specifically the facial area?)

It's a Friday morning and I am incredibly bored, therefore, when boredom hits, strange things happen, in order to be amused. That is my excuse for my new direction in life anyway and to be honest, it is a clearly plausible and natural solution. Tonight, I want to become a gangster and thus, I am listening to as many gangster and rap songs I can to become a fully-fledged 'homie' that belongs to the 'ghetto' (It ain't happening, I realise this but God loves a trier (or whoever resides up in the sky)!). I can see people disagreeing with my placement of some of these songs in this genre but to you select people I say BREEZE (I may have googled Gangster slang, emphasis on 'may'...)

So Scandalous A.M.Y (as I now wish to be referred to in my hood) has picked her top five gangster and rap songs to get 'yo freak' on for da weekend' (also an excellent wee ditty). Yes, even as a homie, I can still refer to myself in third person. SKILLZ (Man, this is going to look embarassing in about a week's time but hey ho...).

5. Nelly - 'Just a Dream'

This is not your typical gangster/rap song but it is romantic nonetheless and it features Nelly. That should be enough for you lot. I guess the part you really get your freak on is the bit when it goes 'Uh, uh, uh'. At this part of the song you should hold your arm out, with your hand held out straight and bring it up and down in time with the music whilst nodding your head in an agressive, threatening way. Singing along will also bag you brownie points.

Immortal Line -  'The love of my life, my shawtie, my wife'

4. Eminem - 'Lose Yourself'

My favourite Eminem song, it is so gritty and really describes what life is like in the hood (not that I would have any sort of clue). For this rap, I would recommend crossing your arms and again, nodding the head in time with the music. By utilising this technique, fellow homies should respect you (or laugh at you, one of the two).

Immortal Line - 'There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti'

3. 50 Cent ft. Olivia - 'Candy Shop'

This song is designed for two people because dancing in a club by yourself to this song may make you look slightly strange. Grabbing a guy and politely dancing with him in no way that is sexual or dirty would be recommended here (How strange, my sarcasm detector went off there...). The beat is quite slow here so don't do anything to fast, it would not look right.

Immortal Line - 'I got the magic stick, I'm the love Doctor'

2. Nelly and various other artists - 'Nasty Girl (Notorious B.I.G Tribute)

Of course, Notorious B.I.G was a prolific music artist in this genre and when he sadly died, the only right thing to do would be to release a number of songs in his memory. The first of these was P Diddy's 'I'll be missing you', which in its own right is a truly brilliant song but 'Nasty Girl' is definitely a good song to get yo' groove on. Plus it has a cameo from Naomi Campbell, Pharell and Nelly (Hell yes).

Immortal Line - 'Pull your G-string down south'

1. Lil Jon and the Eastside Boys featuring the Ying Yang Twins - 'Get Low'

If you want the perfect gangster song to really get yo' groove on with, you cannot go wrong with 'Get Low'. The song contains such high lyrical prowess, the like of which had never been heard before. The song's simple beat as well just makes it the perfect soundtrack to drive around your hood with your bling on. A combination of the dance moves mentioned before will make you a God when it comes to this song.

Immortal Line - 'To the window, to the wall, till the sweat drops down my balls, all you bitches crawl'

So, that's my top five gangster tracks covered. Happy grinding homies!

Final point, I could not compose this chart without ending on Will Smith. The man is a legend (seriously, he was in 'I am Legend') and his contribution to rap music should never be overlooked. So, here is 'Big Willie Style' dedicated to 'All the big willies'.

Amy's Get Fit Plan...

Do you like my one-piece?

This is me. Well, biologically it is not me, I just happen to share the same name as a woman pro-body builder.  I found her after I typed my own name into google and it was an interesting find to say the least. To be honest, I do not wish to become a man (which she/he clearly and most undoubtably is) but I want to shed my couch potato skin and actually get to some sort of acceptable level of fitness (like being able to climb hills sober and at the pace of an elderly woman as opposed to a slug).

1. NO MORE JUNK FOOD

I really cannot emphasise this enough. No more takeaways or fast food! It's naughty and bad. Also, I broke my four - month Greggs Sobriety today, I am off the wagon so I need my friend's full support to get me back on the said proverbial wagon. Instead, I will eat three meals a day, with lots of foods that will fill me up and drink shitloads of water. I will also invest in some serious chewing gummage. Also, the consumption of Yo Sushi! will rise too as the japanese have one of the most healthiest diets in the world. I will however lay off the Chocolate Mocci as I am imposing an allergy of Chocolate, Biscuits and crisps on myself (Side effects include forcing oneself to read 'Heart of Darkness', the worst book ever written, no-one wants that).

I suppose I'll live... in perpetual happiness!

2. JOIN THE FECKING GYM

This is a working progress. Laura and me are enquiring on Friday and due to awesome student status, I get a membership for £20 a month! It also gives you access to the pool, classes and SAUNA, YES, SAUNA! I will also try and walk for at least an hour a day too, with hill training involved (a hill the size of a mole hill perhaps). I will also join at least two classes a week, maybe Yoga and play badminton with Debby!

Extremely Sexy Old Men List

NB  - The following list details famous men who have been found to be incredibly sexy in their old, twilight years. It is not solely based on looks as many men included in this list may have, for example, voices that are found to be incredibly sultry or they may be lucky and possess both the looks, voice and wit that makes a man extremely sexy. Additionally, men who are old presently but were deemed to be attractive in their younger years are automatically considered sexy old men, even if they have lost a little of their glamour. The list is presented in no particular order and there may be omissions that will be counteracted when more sexy old men are either discovered, aged or remembered. Feel free to comment on this list and any suggestions will be warmly welcomed.

Alan Rickman

Jeremy Irons

Sean Bean

Michael J Fox

David Tennant

John Barrowman

Stephen Fry

Richard Hammond

Colin Firth

Pierce Brosnan

Ewan McGregor

Robert Downey Jr.

Kenneth Branagh

Harrison Ford

Hugh Laurie

Hugh Grant

George Clooney

Hotbottom

It is now after all the films are released that I choose to become a fan girl. This is a genuine 'Fuck My Life' moment. It would be acceptable if I was at the tender age of fourteen but I am nineteen and I am feeling the need to pour my heart out about Harry Potter and in particular, Snape and Neville Longbottom. So, to preserve my dignity and to not annoy the fuck out of people with constant posts about Neville, I shall instead blog my heart out about them both, to my heart's content (and I have a very big heart, that beats for Neville).

Snape

Alan Rickman is sixty-five, a bona fide old-aged pensioner. And yet, when he dresses up as Snape, something inexplicable happens. He was a definite feature made on the 'Extremely Sexy Older Men' list that Ellyn and me spent time compiling (the said list will be coming to a blog near you soon). The story of Snape is just so heart-wrenching. He was such a misunderstood creature and to be honest, I would have hated James Potter too, he sounds like a right arrogant twat. And his love for Lily is just so pretty and nice and clearly, she should have ended up with him. If only he hadn't become a death eater...

In the movie, when he held Lily in his arms after she died, I sobbed, literally sobbed. I wanted to hug him so bad and tell him everything was going to be okay but by this point he was already kinda dead. He shall live on in my heart though, and in the film series of 'Harry Potter'.

I typed Snape in Google, this legend of an image appeared before my eyes, like magic!

Neville

He was a cute child in the first few films, then he went a bit goofy and out of proportion. But he really pulled it out of the proverbial bag for the last movie. He was a bloody hero, a goddamn hero and rather surprisingly, 'Ooftay'. He's got the broad shoulders, the stubble, the amazing teeth and the nice eyes. HE'S FREAKIN' PERFECT! (For me anyway, I know some people don't share the same sentiments but that's okay, less people to compete with). 

The man is a style icon. Do you remember his pyjamas in the first film? Or the black pointy hat he wore at the end of year feast? And his striped cardigan in the last film was a true fashion piece that will never date but that just shows how much of a legend this man is. He's also nearer to my age at twenty-two, a far more acceptable suitor than Alan Rickman would ever be. He has now been giving the honour of replacing Jake Gyllenhall as my desktop background and I may even promote him to my phone too because I am a top guy (woman).

I have realised I sound like a crazed stalker but I shall not apologise.

Oh, how I hate my obsessive nature. Once I find an interest on something, I'm like a dog with a chew toy, not letting go (and I'm pretty sure I could have chosen a better analogy than that one, enjoy that image people).

Okay, I think I have outpoured my feelings on this matter, for now anyway. Keep calm and carry on denizens!

Bicentennial Blog...

It's my two-hundredth birthday! I know, I look great for my age, don't I? The secrets to my good looks are copious amounts of alcohol and possessing very little shame (which makes for interesting and amusing story-telling). All joking aside, I have now hit two hundred blogs, an amazing feat for someone like me who gets bored very easily.

However, I would like to take this opportunity to say thanks to anyone who reads this blog, even if it just a dog who licks the screen, it makes me a very happy chappy (despite the fact that I am a girl) to see people interested. Here's to the next two hundred blogs (or not, I may become disillusioned with life or the internet could explode, anything is plausible).

Knocking on a bit now...

They think it's all over, it is now!

Today, my childhood died. It completely died. I am now a bona fide adult. After over a decade of reading the books and anticipating the movies, Harry Potter is over and I will now mourn its loss by reading all the books and watching the films again, especially the books now that Pottermore is due out soon (which I am so excited for).

When it comes to Harry Potter, I'm a bit of a freak. I consider it like it really has happened, a part of our history. I genuinely half-hoped that on my eleventh birthday I would receive a letter inviting me to attend Hogwarts. It baffled me how JK Rowling could have made this all up if she hadn't of relived the experience herself. But there was no letter and it was all very sad (Oh, how woeful and pathetic that was).

I'm also a freak in regards to the fact that I find Snape 'nommable', a very high and honourable level of prettiness. I was practically sobbing when he died, I was distraught. But as one phoenix dies, another grows in its place, I would consider that to be none other than Neville Longbottom, who has gotten seriously hot with age. The striped cardigan was just excellent, if you're going to save the world, do it in a striped cardigan knitted by your Gran. He has made such an impact that I have added him to my List of Inspirational People on Facebook and I will fully support his campaign if he chooses to run for Minister of Magic.


Harry Potter may have won the war but Neville Longbottom was the true hero of the Battle of Hogwarts!

This blog was written Monday, 18th July 2011 AP (After Potter).

Cary Elwes: Whatever happened?

This Blog is self explanatory.

Princess Bride - 1987

2011

It's so sad!

Fred: An Obituary

When I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I could not fathom why 'Just Kidding' Rowling had decided to kill off Fred Weasley. There is simply no justification for it. I was okay with George's loss-of-ear thing, I could mentally deal with that but actually killing Fred, destroying a wonderful family unit and losing one of the best characters was heartbreaking. I mean, if you are going to kill a Weasley at least make it Percy, nobody liked him anyway, he was the definition of 'Pompous Twat' and did not provide any where near as much comedic value than the twins did. 

Plus, it is a well-known fact that twins share a unique bond with one another, so not only did she kill Fred, but she killed George emotionally too. That is just too cruel. He also wore amazing clothes and he was ginger! That alone should have stopped her.

All he ever wanted to do was to open his own joke shop with his brother and be happy but she could not let it last. Genuinely disliked Rowling for that.

Rant. Over.

"You may also call him Chocolate Thun-da!"

I dreamed last night that I was with Jared Leto. Everything was hunky-dory until he announced he had gotten another woman pregnant. I was about to get all distraught when I was woken up by the loudest clap of thunder I have heard since I was in Florida (or the time when we were emerging out of Pizza Hut and we thought a bomb had gone off so we got on the tarmac and crawled to the car, how that must have looked to anyone I cannot imagine)! I got up and went downstairs and naturally discussed the weather with my family.

I watched 'No Strings Attached' which I rented from LoveFilm. It was an odd film to say the least, mainly because of some the sheer ridiculous of some of the plot lines. Who invites a random guy to your father's funeral after meeting up at a party the night before? WHO DOES THAT? Plus, I didn't like Natalie Portman's character at all. Exclaiming 'Why can't we just have sex?' whilst Ashton Kutcher is pouring his heart out to you? Definitely not cool. In fact, after watching this film, I've become a bit of a fan of Mr Kutcher now, he's a bit of a sweetheart!

Worky work (which was incredibly uneventful) and then home, my day consisted of nothingness. In fact, do not even know why I'm blogging in all honesty. EXCEPT for the fact I'm going to see Harry Potter tomorrow (technically, today) and I'm buzzing for it! However, It will be a sad occasion and I will take many tissues because I know I will bawl my eyes out when two particular characters die (I mean C'mon, I cried when Hedwig died and let's not even go to Dobby, mentally distraught would be a good way to describe it).