Exploitation of the Mass

So, the world is ending on Saturday. It is a shame, I quite like being alive but there is nothing I can do to stop it, unless I find salvation before Saturday. Now, I could do this but there are a few things that might get in the way.

1. With the amount of people who 'need' salvation, all the churches are most likely already going to be  inundated with fellow atheists wishing to join the 'Jesus' bandwagon.

2. It would be embarrassing asking someone to grant you salvation when they know you are only there to ascend Heaven.

3. I'm too lazy.

However, if Judgement Day does come on Saturday, There are a few good things that I will enjoy doing. For example, there will probably be a lot people who call themselves 'Christian' but probably will not ascend. Apparently, the bible predicts only 200 Million will ascend on Saturday out of the six billion on earth (God better make sure he has enough housing and employment for all this spiritual immigrants, otherwise all hell will break loose (forgive the pun, or not.)). So, I will enjoy seeing those people getting their comeuppance (Like in Ireland, where I reckon only very few will ascend). 

I will also enjoy the prospect of no university because I sure as hell won't be going back in September. Shame the world actually ends on October 21st though, I was hoping to experience Halloween in the union. I will probably become an alcoholic, as will everyone else so times will be fun. Partying all the time, it will be a good few last months. 

On a related but random note, I am listening to Metallica 'For Whom the Bell Tolls', is there a more worthy song to type this blog to? I think not.

In light of all this life-changing news, it is nice to see that people are still continuing the spirit of entrepreneurship. Whilst I was reading Yahoo! news today, I came across an article about two men trying to preach to people for salvation. At the bottom, there was a news piece on this company run by atheists who have offered Christians to let them rescue their pet during the rapture whilst they ascend to heaven. I mean, it's genius. 

"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved.  But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?   Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind." (From their website)

I mean, it's just genius. Pure, utter brilliant genius! There already have 259 clients who have paid $139 each to make sure their pets are safe during the impending rapture. That's just over $36000 and it's guaranteed for ten years, in case the world doesn't end this time. Such nice people offering to take so many pets and give them warm, loving homes (well for a few months anyway).

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/