I think it is fair to say the rapture was a complete and utter failure of epic proportions. Six pm came and went without incidence (In fact, I had just made it into my Dad's car as the clock struck). And see these people who sold (or in some cases, gave away) their worldly possessions and life savings, well, what utter fools you are, I don't feel sorry for you one bit, there were plenty of other Christians who didn't believe the rapture was coming.
Someone who should have felt particularly embarrassed was the man who 'calculated' the impending apocalypse, Harold Camping who went 'mysteriously' missing from the public eye after his failed prediction on Saturday.
However, not one to be beaten down by the stick of public humiliation, he has admitted he was wrong but has issued a new apocalyptic date for our diaries, so make sure you have a pen and paper handy!
Harold Camping said it had "dawned" on him that God would spare humanity "hell on Earth for five months" and the apocalypse would happen instead on "the 21st October" (The day the world is supposed to be ravaged by a global fire)
I can almost see the news headlines on October 22nd 2011 now, in big, beautiful, black lettering.
"The world was supposed to end yesterday. And not a single Fuck was given that day."
However, impending apocalypse or not, life will go on for at least another five months (unless a meteorite strikes us, then we'll be fucked). A point I do wish to get across is that this Volcano in Iceland erupting, you know, the Grimsvotn (Sounds like something from 'Lord of the Rings')? Well, that can take all its ash and shit and go back to wherever the hell it came from because I am not missing my holiday in Bulgaria. I'm feeling sorry for all these people who are having their holidays cancelled (especially the ones who are being videoed sleeping by news people, I would sue them for shooting me in an embarrassing predicament) and Katy, who is supposed to be jetting off to Valencia tomorrow!
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| AH HATE ICELAND! |
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