Lauren and me arose from our slumber at around five to one where we realised we had five minutes to get ready for the welcome meeting. We made it, just and Lauren and me joined Amy, Katy and Lisa at the table for the meeting, the only other ones there being a group of older people. Our holiday rep, Tori (actually Victoria but Tori does sound better so I'll give it to her) gave us the lowdown on the resort and the personal recommendation of our very own hotel restaurant. She then provided details on the bar crawl '2wentys', a travel firm within First Choice that is specifically catered for people in my age group were holding that night and spotting an opportunity to get to know the area at night (and obviously the incentive of free shots in every bar), we all decided to part ways with the equivalent of £7.50 to get free entry into three bars and two clubs (not bad).
We then went to the supermarket in the hotel and got a chocolate croissant for breakfast (which was quite tasty, usually these companies can be stingy with the filling but the chocolate was proportionally spread out throughout the whole length of the croissant. What can I say? I enjoy the little things in life). We then met up with the others and decided to go out for a walk to explore the resort along the beach promenade (that takes a full half an hour to walk across). Of course, we got to the end of the road where our hotel was where the big supermarket resides on the corner and we decided to go in and get some supplies (we were self - catering after all). I decided to be good and get sandwich supplies and strawberry - flavoured pina colada of course. Once we dropped off our purchases at the apartment, we again attempted to go for a walk and this time, we were successful. I recognised it well from when I had last been here and very little had changed so all was good. I managed to buy a shot glass from a wee stall and Lisa and me got a 50p ice cream to enjoy whilst we walked along the beach (definitely a good shout). At around five o clock, we decided to head back to the hotel and get ready seeing as we had to meet Tori at the bus stop for quarter to eight.
Lauren and me got ready pretty speedily and decided to go and bother the guys, all of whom were either in the process of getting ready or not ready at all (not pointing any fingers at Scott whatsoever). We were eventually just waiting on Amy getting ready but we made it out to the hotel and went to the Steakhouse opposite the hotel (the promoter literally made us promise we would go to it). It was pretty empty except for the karaoke band and a couple but when the waitress handed out free tequila slammers, well, we simply couldn't refuse. Lisa and me shared a massive calzone and I was given a large vodka and orange that I literally could not drink because it was too strong. Amy and Katy decided to go and find a pay phone whilst we sorted out the bill. With time ticking away, we managed to leave the restaurant with two minutes to spare till we needed to be at the bus stop but by some miracle, we got there in time and met up with Tori and another 2wentys rep and got on the bus to the top of the resort (or as some may call it, 'Party Central').
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| The girls on holiday! |
The first stop on the crawl was a bar called 'Jacks', a british bar. We were informed that we would get our free shot after we left the bar which allowed us to queue to get a drink from the bar. The bar was quite small and due to the sheer number of people on bar crawl, it took forever to get a drink. I finally got a 'Banana Boat' cocktail and I was quite happy, sipping on that. We were then introduced to the rules of the bar crawl by Tori. You were not allowed to hold your drink in your right hand (which is harder than it sounds, believe me, holding your drink in your left hand just doesn't feel natural at all). Girls were not allowed to play with their hair (which I did not abide by at all) and boys were not allowed to have their hands caught down their, 'ahem', pants. (Let's not go down there, if you will forgive the pun).
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| Fish bowl for £40? No thank you. |
As we left, we were given a fruity shot, which was quite nice and then the crawl made its way across the road to Slam's Cafe, the second destination on the bar crawl. We were given a shot as we entered and then got served at the bar relatively quickly. However, it became apparent that the rules of the bar crawl did not extend to people who had two drinks, therefore one had to be downed pretty much as soon as you got it. Combining this with pumping music and drinking games, the night began to get messy and by the time we left that bar, everyone was merry, nighing on drunken mess. We then headed next door to the first club of the night, Revolution, which was an amazing club. It was large and well air-conditioned (very much welcomed in my opinion) and the queue at the bar went down quickly. That was when it got really messy. After the reps decided to put the Hokey Cokey on, a game got underway, involving four men and four bottles of beer...
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| Hokey Cokey-ness! |
The basic aim of the game was for the guys to walk backwards to their bottle of beer and neck it, the first one to do so winning the game. However, in true, 2wenty's fashion, the men were told to take each item of clothing they had off, one by one until they were in their boxers. I genuinely thought that would be it but no, someone shouted for them to go fully naked and despite the rep claiming it was 'totally voluntary' each of them stripped down and were completely starkers. Now, in the previous bar, I had met a lovely man, whose name I never did find out but I called him Brummie and he called me Glasgow (no names, so, mysterious don't you think?) At this precise moment, he decided to come up and say 'Hello' again before noticing there were four naked men in front of him. He then proclaimed that he didn't want to watch it because he wasn't gay and walked away. Oh, how I laughed. But anyway, back to the naked men. They were next told to get on their hands and knees and crawl backwards to the beer but of course before it could get started, one woman proceeded to bite every single one of the guy's bums and then one girl decided to and there is genuinely no other way to put this, suck the guy's cock on the end (Yum.) Finally, the game got underway and all four men crawled backwards and downed their beers (no hands covering their appendages either). Then the reps (and Scott, who was eager to participate) proceeded to pour what beer remained in the bottle over the guys heads. Although I had never seen such public humilation, nakedness and penis in my life before, I also could not stop laughing, even as things returned to normal and the dancing went back underway!
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| No words... |
We then left through the back door of the club and went to the fourth place, Club Tropicana, which was right on the beach and on stilts almost. We got in and due to the place being so dark, I could not see the prices. Plus, the english guy next to me had difficulties ordering with the bar maid so I played it safe with a Barcardi Breezer (probably a good thing, I was 'gone' by this point). I guess it was just after this I got my holiday pull count rolling. However, I wanted to die when Grant went to shake his hand after we had 'ahem' finished. It was also probably around this point when Scott pulled a girl, then Grant pulled the same one so Scott moved onto her best friend. Oh, the amusement I had when I informed them that they were on our flight home (Hehehehee...) Then, I ventured outside into what could be described as a veranda, balcony - type thing where Amy and Katy were talking with a group of irish lads. Ryan from Wolverhampton, who got my personal pull count going came back for 'ahem' seconds and Lauren, bless her, came over to speak to me before she realised what was going on and apologised for interrupting. Lauren and me spoke for a while before Grant came up to us and began leaning on the wall, telling us his adventures in the bar. The only problem was, the wall was not actually a wall, more like a net cordoning off another part of the bar. Yeah... the net snapped and Grant went tumbling down a few steps and split his trousers along the inner leg. The irish lads laughed and pointed before Amy informed that indeed, we were all with him. However, I can honestly say I have never laughed so much as I did at that point and it made my night, if not my entire holiday. Grant, in his drunken state shrugged it off and went on with the night, the trooper!
We then left Club Tropicana and headed to the final destination, Iceberg! Whilst walking Ryan and three of his friends enclosed around my personal bubble asking how much I 'wanted' it (there were more graphic details but for the sake of common and public decency, they shall not be posted). Lauren and me then talked with the brummies as we queued to get in. With a free shot of Sambucca, I really was absolutely out of my box. The night is a blur of toliet queues, dancing on a pyramid - shaped podium, choosing who was the hottest out of the brummie lot (the one I chose had a girlfriend, bummer) and in general dancing. At this point it was only Lisa, Lauren and myself until Grant grabbed us and told us that if we valued his friendship at all, we would wait outside for him. Now, we decided McDonalds was an excellent idea at this point but we decided to go to the Pizza place just outside the club, thus inadvertently following Grant's wishes. With all four of us very pished, we all held hands and walked (occasionally skipped until Grant nearly fell on Lisa) down the beach promenade back to the hotel. We spied a Subway on the way back and Grant asked who was up for one. Despite it being an excellent shout, none of us had any cash on us but we feared for nothing, as Grant whipped out his bank card and bought us all subways (I would like to take the opportunity to state that I asked numerous times if he was sure, which he replied 'Yes'. In no way did I take advantage of a very drunk man.) Ordering from Subway was fun, due to the fact all the staff gathered round to watch Grant announce that he already had a twelve inch and other various jokes and drunken behaviour. We scranned our subways and then finally got back to the hotel. I put Lauren to bed and left with Lisa to wait in her apartment for the other girls to show up. Katy came back with a cut knee so we all turned nurse and looked after her. It was only at this point we realised that Richard had not been seen since Revolution and was now missing. I stayed up till three worrying then decided it was pointless and went to bed, hoping he'd be back by the time I woke up the next morning!
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| A brilliant first night! But where is Richard? |
Ooft, left that on a cliffhanger, didn't I?
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