If a man ever asks me to make him a sandwich, I will because my sandwiches are immense...

How to make the perfect 'Cheese Savoury':

You will need to go on an epic quest in your local supermarket to find these ingredients -

Nice, thick, Crunchy Bread or Baguette
Cheddar Cheese (or if you are feeling adventurous, try two different types)
Mayonnaise
Salad Cream
Lettuce
Red Onion


You will also need a kitchen or hygenic worktop to prepare on.

Grate the cheese(s) into a bowl and add equal amounts of mayonnaise and salad cream and stir until the consistency is stiff, not runny. Chop about a 6th of a red onion finely and a few leaves of a lettuce and then add to the mix. You may add other vegetables as you see fit. Then evenly spread out on to your bread and then ENJOY IT AND DON'T LEAVE A SINGLE CRUMB BEHIND!

Or, if you can't be arsed, go and buy one out of Greggs but warning: Mine's is so much better!